I Held My Mother’s Pain
A Journey of Healing, Remembering, and Honoring The Inner Child
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Queen of Wands Mrs. Stephens was my fourth-grade teacher. And one of the coolest people I have ever known. She would play music and have us stand at our desks and dance for a few minutes on Fridays. She would stand at her desk and dance too. I learned all about the “shopping cart”, “sprinkler”, and “lawn mower” from Mrs. Stephens. Whenever she would tell us it was time to stand and dance, I was terrified. My body wanted to immediately hide or excuse myself to the bathroom. But my heart? She was ecstatic, wondering, “Does Mrs. Stephens know how much I love to dance!?” “I love being free, feeling the music, and moving my body!” And then the fear, “Don’t move, don’t let anyone see you, it’s not safe.” I was so conflicted. Mrs. Stephens would also lead story time. She read us “Peppermints in the Parlor” We would gather around her chair, Sitting on the floor in the front of the classroom. I was in awe of Mrs. Stephens. She would embody the characters, use different voices and sounds. Mrs. Stephens was larger than life. One reading time in particular, Mrs. Stephens informed us it was perfectly okay to pass gas if we had to. She said that if we don’t let the gas out of our bodies, it will back up our digestive system. Mrs. Stephens then made direct eye contact with me. I pretended she didn’t while still holding in my fart. She continued reading. My eyes glued on Mrs. Stephens, I wondered “Does Mrs. Stephens know I love performing too!?” I would lose myself in the story, using my imagination to color in a whole new world. I looked forward to story time in her classroom each day. Imagination was my safe place, a place to dream, and feel. To create a world that was filled with love, and belonging, And sparkles, lots and lots of gold sparkles.
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About the Book
Poet Taylor Kinney shares her journey through healing her maternal lineage through the lens of the inner child archetype. Navigating early childhood and adolescent trauma, she journeys through her school age years attempting to unpack her mother’s expression of pain and the messages of feminine conditioning. Taylor accepts the invitation into the unknown. She steps into the journey of re-parenting and self-love, reclaiming fragmented parts of herself, and ultimately reconnecting with the great mother. I Held My Mother’s Pain is a heart-wrenching poetry collection exploring the lasting effects of generational trauma and the long, emotional journey to recovery and self-love. The pain in these poems has been hidden and held tightly for generations in Taylor’s maternal lineage. The women who came before her had their own stories that were left untold as they held and passed on the wounds from their mothers of generations’ prior. Taylor’s writing is vulnerable, raw, and will touch your heart in the most sensitive and delicate ways. She offers the message that in times of pain and uncertainty, there remains a light inside, always guiding the way. This is an invitation to sprint as fast as you can towards the little being inside of you and squeeze them with an abundance of love, expression, and belonging.
About the Author
AUTHOR BIO Taylor Kinney, LCSW/LMSW is a writer, and channel, as well as an intuitive psychotherapist and owner of Magnolia Moon Therapy. Her passion in this lifetime is advocating for the soul’s expression, in each and every human body. She loves all things nature, creative, and magical. Taylor currently lives in Arizona with her golden doodle, Stu.