Girl, Get out of the Freaking Car!

Introduction: Open the Door to Possibility The chances are likely that you picked up this book because you are curious. Curious about what life would be like if self-doubt, shame, and low self-worth were no longer a problem. What if you could transform your shyness or self-doubt into confidence and assertiveness? Could you then express your ideas or take action towards bringing your visions to life? How could life be different if you could break free from the grip of past trauma or life’s stressors that have literally eroded your self-worth or hindered your ability to pursue your dreams? Maybe if your self-worth was rebuilt, the possibilities to overcome challenges posed by your past could occur and you might feel empowered to create a fulfilling life and achieve your aspirations. What if that constant cycle of self-comparison could be conquered so you were free of the feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and low self-worth. Or what would life look like if you could overcome paralysing anxiety that prevents you from pursuing new experiences or personal growth? You may be able to break free from the constraints of fear and anxiety, opening up to opportunities for adventure, growth and fulfillment. Perhaps you struggle with perfectionism? Or you are a high achiever who sets incredibly high standards for yourself and fears failure? Letting go of this ideal could propel you forward without the crippling fear of failure and then able to take risks, explore new avenues and achieve a more balanced life. Fear closes the door to possibility and can stop you from stepping into the spotlight and living your life’s mission. All these are examples of where this book fits in with my mission. With multiple degrees in psychology, including a masters in clinical psychology, plus qualifications in business, and hairdressing, plus training in yoga and meditation – I understand the self-worth struggles. I have seen more times than not that self-worth is the big key player when it comes to holding people back in life and preventing them having a full and happy life. And I have been one of those myself. As a big dreaming, visionary woman, I have had a countless number of great ideas for many different ventures but low self-worth, fear, past trauma, chronic health issues and stress, and anxiety kept me playing small and safe. Or as I say, kept me being an invisible zebra. I refer to myself as a zebra woman who was once lost and not knowing which way forward. That was before I began my journey to health, wellbeing, growth, and finding sustainable success. So, what is a Zebra Woman? Zebras don’t need a concrete definition, as we are not defined by labels. I think of zebra as a metaphor that resonates with the idea of embracing your individuality, qualities, quirks, and strengths (represented by a zebra's distinctive stripes) to overcome limitations and achieve growth. Those wanting to transform their life and step powerfully into who they are, owning those stripes. Zebra is often used to also refer to people that experience invisible conditions, with health professionals often trained to look for horses-or common causes-rather than consider a zebra-or something out of the ordinary. With invisible conditions most commonly occurring in those born as female and generally taking several years to get answers, whilst feeling ignored, unheard, or dismissed. But, zebra’s do exist, and I advocate fiercely and passionately for each and every zebra woman out there! Zebra women are often in one of three zones: The Plains of Safety, The Fenced Savannah, The Horizons of Transformation. • Plains of Safety: This is the comfort zone, where zebras stay in familiar territory, grazing on known pastures. You feel secure within the herd and are reluctant to venture beyond the safety of your surroundings. Life is predictable, but there's little room for growth or new experiences. You may be in a cycle of unhelpful habits such as endless scrolling on social media, poor eating due to lack of energy, feeling tired but not much time for yourself, and feel stuck in procrastination station. • Fenced Savannah: This area symbolises the limitations that confine zebras. The fences could be physical, representing actual constraints, psychological, or metaphorical, symbolising fears, doubts, stigma, beliefs, or society’s expectations. Zebras in this space can see the vastness of the savannah beyond but feel trapped by their perceived limitations. You might notice that internal dialogue isn’t helpful and you might struggle with confidence. • Horizon of Transformation: This is where zebras break free from the herd and the fences to explore new territories. It represents the journey towards personal growth, sustainable success, and wellbeing. Zebras in this space are willing to face the unknown, take risks, and adapt to new challenges. They embrace their unique stripes, which symbolises their individuality and strength, and use them to navigate through life's challenges and opportunities. This is where you adapt and make sustainable success choices with more healthy habits to promote more energy for you to engage with those that matter the most to you, do the things that give you meaning, and give yourself the space to make life better for yourself and your family. I was in the Plains of Safety for a very long time in the past. Just going with the flow, scared to venture out or be seen. And when chronic health and major stressors decided to become part of my life, I noticed those big barb-wired fences of the Fenced Savannah come up high around me. Infertility, endometriosis, poly cystic ovary syndrome, adenomyosis plagued my life, plus a traumatic birth experience, health scares, with later trauma resulting in the development of central sensitisation of the nervous system, fibromyalgia and burnout! (This story is detailed in my second book that I’m currently writing). I felt anxious, stressed, over-stimulated, fatigued in every cell of my body, and did not have the energy to connect with others, do things that give me purpose, or show up and give my family the life I wanted to. When the decision was made to change my life and create one that was abundantly aligned with my values, my wellbeing, my nervous system, and what I was passionate about was when I did the hard work to live my life in the Horizon of Transformation.