INTRODUCTION
Here’s a secret: Being organized is the path, not the destination.
Let me back up for a minute.
Given the title of this book, I’m sure you already have an inkling that I’m going to share my proven method for decluttering and organizing your home. And I will. Perhaps you are hoping that my system will be the system that finally brings order into your life. By following a bunch of strict rules, you will, at last, know what to do and never have to frantically search for your misplaced car keys again.
Over the past eight years, I’ve helped countless people transform their relationships with their stuff and, in that process, transform their homes. But it wasn’t by imposing an inflexible regimen. Other people’s rules don’t work. What does work, I’ve learned, is curiosity. I teach people how to be inquisitive and non-judgmental about why they have what they have, and also to observe how most of what they have is preventing them from living the lives they truly want.
That’s where the real magic happens.
I know this to be true, not just from my work with my clients, but because I’ve lived it myself.
You see, I wasn’t born organized. I was a mess, always wrestling with my precious things. For a long time. A really long time. People who are overwhelmed by their lives and their belongings already feel like failures; their self-talk is soul-crushing. It was for me. But one fateful day (and I promise I’ll tell you the whole story later), I lost all of my stuff.
Literally. All of it. (Except for my beloved Tigger!)
Taking a crash course to learn who I was - and who I might be - without my stuff to hide behind, I had to get curious real fast. And a funny thing happened once I did: I discovered that I wasn’t defined by what I owned.
You aren’t either.
That’s why I know I can help those of you who have struggled to create order in your homes. If I could become organized, and now build a successful business helping others become organized, you can, too. I am confident that by sharing my approach, you will also have success.
This book is divided into two parts: WHY and HOW.
While you may be tempted to skip to the second half where I show you how to take action, it is the process of questions in the first half of the book which will create the foundation to help you take purposeful and sustainable action in the second half.
Please don’t skip ahead. (Please.)
I’ve learned in my work that many people don’t think to gently question themselves about their belongings. They don’t understand why they have what they have, or where it came from, so they get confused about where exactly it should go in their homes or why it's there in the first place. More importantly, they aren’t clear on who they are today and whether their stuff actually embodies that. Instead, most people live with things that reflect some version of who someone else expected them to be or told them who they were.
That’s the source of all clutter.
Once you’re clear about that, then it’s time to get to work.
The second half of the book is the nuts and bolts of HOW to do that work. I will guide you through the steps I use with my clients and in my own home. I’ve laid out these steps so you can take on your entire home because I’ve found this is the best way to understand all that you own.
Yes, it’s a big job.
But you will only have to do it once.
If you’re reading this book, you’re done with band-aid fixes.
To truly create change in your space, you have to be willing to roll up your sleeves and do some heavy lifting. It may feel overwhelming at times but - and this is an important but - you have to be kind to yourself. This is my only hard and fast rule (well, there’s one more but we’ll get to that later).
So, take a deep breath and get ready to learn about yourself.
My greatest hope for this book is that it provides you many lightbulb moments that result in a clear space that functions in harmony with your every need. If that doesn’t feel possible for you, start small with this one belief: I believe it is possible for me to become organized.
Right now, that’s all you need to begin.
That’s enough.
Part 1: WHY
Chapter One: Stuff Isn’t Love
So here it is, the big question:
HOW DOES YOUR STUFF MAKE YOU FEEL?
Your first thought might be “What business is that of yours? I’m just here to deal with my clutter, thank you very much.”
One kind of person says:
“I love my stuff. It makes me feel safe and secure. I have lots of it. And I wade through it every day. Every time I move a pile, I’m reminded of how protected I am. This stack of magazines from 1998 makes a perfectly good snack table as I Netflix and chill. And the dirty clothes on the floor keep my feet nice and warm, so . . . I’m good.”
That person would not pick up this book. That person is perfectly fine with their clutter. And that’s great! I’m not looking to change that person. But that’s not you. You’re here because you’ve struggled for far too long with the feeling of being overwhelmed by your belongings. You’re here because you’re ready for a lasting solution and are tired of quick fixes that don’t work. You’re here because you’re exhausted by justifying all of your stuff and how much of it you have.
You’re here because you want a simpler life.
So do I