7 Secrets from the Divorce Whisperer
SAVING YOURSELF, YOUR MONEY, AND YOUR CHILDREN DURING DIVORCE
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7 Secrets from the Divorce Whisperer: How to Save Yourself, Your Money, and Your Kids During Divorce is a blueprint on how to survive divorce and move forward to a better life that you design for yourself. As a practicing divorce lawyer for 30 years and a divorcée myself, I have a profound empathy for people caught in this emotional maelstrom. When my own marriage was falling apart, I prowled the aisles of bookstores, searching for a book that would be compassionate, knowledgeable, uplifting, and accessible all at the same time. A book I could trust, consult, and re-read in solitude to help me cut through the mental fog of emotion and think my way forward. Such a book, I knew, would be nourishment for my brain and tonic for my soul. I wanted clarity, but I also wanted inspiration and hope. I found many books at the time, but not a single one that brought all these elements together in the way I sought. I decided then that I would write the book about divorce that was missing from the shelves. This book is the one I needed and could not find. This book is the one I want all my clients to read before or in the wake of our first meeting. This book is written for them and for everyone facing the life crisis that no one is ever really prepared to face. The first chapter tackles a core question seldom addressed. I believe that every person contemplating the upending of life as they know it should first undertake an emotional inventory of self and marriage, getting at the real roots of unhappiness. How else to fit the right tool to the problem? It is immeasurably helpful to consider these questions honestly as a prelude. Your therapist (I always encourage clients to seek counseling) and your lawyer will thank you. This essential step of self-clarification, vital to a successful outcome, is often skipped; it’s too tempting to ride the tidal wave of anger instead. But is the marriage really to blame for one’s unhappiness? Is divorce really the answer? This book goes on to provide the knowledge and framework to prepare oneself for the decisions ahead. An entire chapter is devoted to domestic violence. Two chapters address how the divorce affects children, both before and after the actual dissolution of marriage, and what parents can do to mitigate the damage. There are chapters on the different types of divorce, and on mediation-the smartest option for dissolving most marriages. This book is meant to guide every soul who is going through the life altering process of divorce. The First Secret: Considering Divorce? Ask yourself some crucial questions before taking action. After nearly 30 years of guiding unhappy couples through the divorce process, here is what I know: 1. You deserve to be happy. 2. You deserve to lead a fulfilling and peaceful life, free of constant conflict. 3. You deserve to be the creator of your future, rather than a prisoner of someone else's control. 4. You deserve a life free of fear for your own physical safety and that of your children. 5. You deserve a life free of constant worry that the stability of your family life is threatened by the unreliability of teamwork in your marriage. 6. You deserve to exercise your power to protect yourself and your children from abuse, instability, and conflict. 7. You deserve respect and you should be the first and most constant source of this, in your thoughts, decisions, and actions regarding your own life. 8. You deserve respect from the other significant people in your life. 9. You deserve an abundant life with the ability to make your own choices about money: how to earn it, how to spend it, and how to make it work for your long-term needs. 10. You deserve a place to live where you are safe, content, in control of your surroundings, and able to lock the door to keep out anyone or anything that does not bring you peace…you deserve your own sanctuary. Sound like the kind of life you want to live? Well you can. The purpose of this book is to show you how. Right now, there might be a lot of things standing between you and that kind of safe, peaceful, and affirming life. Reading this book will give you the tools you need to think clearly and start taking steps toward that better life. As you will see, asking yourself the right questions is the best place to start. And asking yourself the right questions at every stage thereafter is the way to move forward. I am bringing all my professional experience to the cause of helping you ask the right questions and avoid a multitude of pitfalls that could deepen your unhappiness and cause you a lot of wasted time and money. The power to create the life you want may involve declaring freedom from your spouse.... or not. As you can imagine, this is an extremely important question and you must take the time you need to answer it accurately for yourself. My goal is to help guide you through a step-by-step process to answer this question, and the ones that naturally follow from it, so you are empowered with the knowledge you need to create the life you want. The crucial questions I've designed to get you started are below. You are about to walk through the portal toward a new life. Ready
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About the Book
If you want to survive the life crisis of divorce, this is the one book you need. Divorce attorney and mediator Marta J. Papa wrote this book to guide you through the maelstrom of the legal process of divorce and help you be the architect of your new future. She poses tough questions to make sure a divorce from your spouse will really resolve your unhappiness. She explores how divorce affects children and what you can do to mitigate the negative impact on your kids. Marta provides all the information you need to calm your waves of anger, frustration, and fear. This book is a blueprint for saving yourself, your money, and your children during divorce.
About the Author
Marta J. Papa, J.D. has helped over 10,000 couples in fractured, unhappy marriages find hope for a better future using her 30 years of experience as a divorce lawyer and mediator. Her post-graduate certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy from the prestigious Menninger Institute and her personal experience of her own divorce help her render expert advice with compassion and empathy to everyone facing the life crisis of divorce. As a nationally recognized speaker on divorce, she trains attorneys, judges, and mental health professionals on how to help couples through the legal and emotional maelstrom of divorce with the least amount of damage to their children. She has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, Sky Radio and Marie ‘Claire as well as numerous radio programs and T.V. commentaries.