Forgiven Sinner

It makes me wonder about the really BIG souls that are here to make a very big difference. A calm sea cannot make a skilled sailor. Some of us, at the soul level, perhaps chose the most difficult beginnings to give us the nerve and the strength to grow our human self to a place of complete trust and immense personal power. I would suggest that if your own story is one of difficulty and heartache, that perhaps you are here to overcome it all. That doesn’t always mean it will be easy. And it doesn’t always mean there will be a total transformation. But I do suggest that if you can take a big enough step back, and look at your current life through the eyes of your soul, then perhaps your life lessons won’t seem so personal. And then you will be able to take a bigger view of what your life is asking you to become in order to overcome the obstacles that are before you now. It will be who you become from within your journey, that will produce a powerful, capable human being. And it will prepare you to be a powerful soul fulfilling the vision of your soul, on this planet, at this time of our human story. That is how powerful you are. We all have a unique personal history. And our own karmic imprinting is unique too. Taking a look at my own subconscious programming, I can get a glimpse of where I am in the possibilities of our soul's journey. How is it that I am where I am? What karmic imprinting do I have in my subconscious? What are the core karmic arenas that I have left to learn about and master? What is it about my disposition that chose this path for me now? Where am I on the scale of human consciousness? Am I moving up or down the scale? Where are the deities in relation to my spot on the scale? I find it curious, my life-path that is, that I am writing about personal power. I didn't always have a good grasp on it. I didn't have much to say about it, which wasn't easily shared by others. There seems to be an inner pool of us. People who are waking up to a bigger truth. A deeper understanding of how it is all laid out. Where is God and what does God think of me? How am I to “relate” to this God of all that is? What is appropriate for me to think and do? I mean, if indeed heaven or hell is at stake, I best be learning the important stuff. To be wrong here could have very expensive consequences. When we talk about the notion of God, and our own relationship to God, we can enter into a story that has been told for many continuous generations. The idea that God is a persona of some sort “in heaven above us,” and that God is watching us. Watching our thoughts, choices, and actions. We are to be diligent in our living, finding righteous tendencies, if God is going to find us in favor of his “blessings.” The idea that heaven will be delivered if I just behave myself. My particular upbringing re-enforced this behavior with a very powerful family dynamic. In my family of origin, the one that I grew up in, as the template of my ego, there was a man, my father, who was so religious, that it would take considerable devotion to even match his servitude to God. My father would tear up whenever he was talking about the Lord, and God, and the Mormon religion. And my father would not let many opportunities go by without yet another opportunity to “share the Gospel.” I remember taking cross-country road trips in our blue Plymouth station wagon. And be sitting in the car, at a rest area, waiting for my father to finish proselytizing to some stranger in the restroom. Waiting, for what seemed like hours to my young mind, for my father to sufficiently convince the stranger that the only way for him to experience salvation, was to join the Mormon Church. The thing about my father being so intense and passionate about God and his religion, was that I was expected to be fierce with my own conviction. He had set the bar high for what passionate devotion looks like. I was expected to develop such deep conviction of my own regarding my faith. To have a very intense emotional connection to the Divine. My dad was showing me “the way.” Yet, in that model, something was missing. Me. And my siblings. This might seem like an odd thing to say, but it isn't really. My father singlehandedly distracted all of us as to HOW we could be working with the Divine within us. How can God show up in our lives? How can God's immense Love for us be tapped, and integrated, into our everyday lives? To worship God is to put your attention on God. I certainly appreciate the notion of tending to God. But there isn't a single episode when God personally solved any of the BIG problems here on Earth. For example, war has existed in our human paradigm for centuries and beyond. For a specific example, let us consider World War II. My father fought in that war. For years, there were ongoing human atrocities taking place during that war. The Germans had rounded up the Jews and had sent them to concentration camps. To kill them systematically. Do you think the Jews prayed to God to get them out of their situation? Did the death camps operate for years without a Divine Being of any kind, coming down “out of the heavens” to stop the human suffering, or the war machine itself? Again, did the almighty powerful God descend and stop the killing at any time over the entire course of human history when war was carried out? Nope.