Stripping
My Fight to Find Me
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
FORBIDDEN LOVE
Just thinking of loving you
Seems so felonious
As I steal a quick glance
From the corner of my eye
Cautiously, quietly
Not wanting to be found
Looking at you
Hungering for you
Wishing
To be one with you
I take my sweet time
As I breathlessly embrace you
Greedy to touch you
Feel you
Consume you
All from a distance
That shields me
Shelters me
My safety
Lies in my concealment
My comfort
A gift of my invisibility
A wild fire burns madly through me
Yet I’m unscorched
And untouched
It’s my guilty pleasure
To gaze upon you
As you adorn yourself
Unabashedly
Unhurriedly
Oh so lovingly
Unaware of my presence
I am lost
In the mysterious invitation
Of your smile
I am mesmerized
By your resplendent beauty
I am tipsy
With a drunken happiness
As I catch the reflection
From your flushed face
You have bewitched me
With a wordless spell
I float on a cloud of exuberant ecstasy
I’m infused with your sublime perfection
You’re lit, you’re aglow
I am powerless to resist you
I tremble with trepidation
As I reach out to touch you
Desperate to be discovered
Dying to be recognized
I stop in my tracks
The distance between you and me
Suddenly uncross able
I am powerless to advance
My heart is racing
My palms are sweating
I am terror stricken
At my unforgiveable lapse
Into the insanity
Of daring to dream
Of deserving your delight
I am sickened
By the angry roughness of my scabs
As I yearn to worship
The sensuous curves of your body
I see my plainness
In the reflection of your radiance
I notice the sad dullness
Of all that I see
As I am tempted
To lose myself in your deep, dark eyes
The heaviness in my heart annoys me
As I covet a taste of your effervescence
I have nothing important to say
As I listen carefully
To your fascinating words
Your radiance brings me no joy
As I stare at my pallid complexion
I’m disheartened
I’m discouraged
I’m repulsed by my need
I mercilessly flog myself
For wanting this love
This fantasy of pleasure
Has rocked me to my core
I’m restless
I’m enraged
I’m furious with myself
For repenting unwillingly
For wanting this bliss
My impotence disgusts me
My misgivings are repulsive
My caution is revolting
My inhibition no longer serves me
I am not ugly
It’s the mirror
That is broken
Your glory is mine
My shame is yours
Your virtue is mine
My guilt is yours
Your loftiness is mine
My despondency is yours
Shared
Fused
Divine
Sanctioned
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Book Details
About the Book
Stripping: My Fight to Find Me will take you into the mind, body, brain, and soul of Dr. Sunita Merriman as she journeys to reclaim her true self. Through the gift of her words, you will hear and feel what happens when a child experiences loss and trauma. How is it that the world appears to be the same scary place to her in adulthood and continues to haunt her? How can she grow up so sound, accomplished, and highly successful on the outside yet be so fragmented on the inside? Sunita’s poems give a no-holds-barred account of a grueling and raw battle that is at times tough to read. Yet you will be compelled to keep turning the pages until you get to the last one. The author doesn’t only share her fight but she also recognizes and celebrates the human unconscious that defies suffering and reaches out to be healed and loved. Stripping: My Fight to Find Me translates the language and spirit of the unconscious and is about how the intimate and mysterious relationship between science and spirituality make up the sacred in us all.
About the Author
Dr. Sunita Merriman has spent over two decades as a health care professional dedicated to treating her patients with the belief that the mind, body and soul are connected. Now she writes about her deeply personal journey to unmask, understand and defeat the darkness that was the legacy of trauma and toxic stresses from adverse childhood experiences and trans-generational wounds. She sought help and in Stripping- My fight to find Me, she shares her triumph over darkness, so others can feel empowered and inspired to do the same and live the life they were meant to. Sunita's poetry translates the language and spirit of the human unconscious as it transforms pain and suffering into hope. A new understanding of how trauma effects children, recognition of attachment and interpersonal neurobiology, intensive short term dynamic psychotherapy techniques and neuroplasticity brought about structural changes in Sunita’s brain that allowed her to let go of her past and embrace her future and her full potential as a human being. Dr. Merriman lives in Edison, New Jersey with her husband and their two daughters.