The Guidebook Collection of Transforming: Unlearning / Undoing / Creating

Words In all aspects of recovery work, it is important to use words that resonate with you, that calm you, that “fit” you. Words, when said aloud, should have a comforting feeling, a soothing effect. For example, perhaps the term “recovery work” does not sit well with you. You will feel it in your body somewhere that it doesn’t blend, it irritates you in some way. Perhaps “my healing process” or “my transformation work” suits you better. Use words that work for you; your friend may use different words. Remember he/she has their journey and you have yours. Use a thesaurus which lists words of the same meaning and also opposite meanings. It is important that you say the word aloud to feel its influence on the body. As an example, I was not fond of the term “letting it go” or “surrender and release”. Perhaps these terms did not help me because after seeing them again and again, I still had no idea of how to “let it go”. It left me frustrated. Using an online thesaurus, I came up with “leaving it behind” or “leave it behind”. I could picture myself walking away, leaving it behind, and not looking back. When I say “Leave it behind” I feel the strength of its meaning. Experiment, play around, I was surprised at the difference a word could make, and still does in my healing.

Uneasiness in the body, from words, can come from the sound of the word or it can come from the meaning of the word or phrase. When the sound of the word distresses you, it is a signal to use a better suited word, one that harmonizes with your body instead of against it. When the meaning, the content, of the word or phrase distresses you, it is a signal that something is amiss within – a belief you hold as true could be actually untrue. The distress signals have different meanings; the sound of the word makes you uncomfortable whereas distress due to the meaning could be a clue concerning your inner state. “Leave it behind” gave me strength where “let it go” caused disinterest. It wasn’t the words “I am safe” that woke me; it was the content of the phrase, its meaning. By discovering that I did not feel safe, it opened my eyes and led me to find out why. When I started speaking affirmations, the list was a long one, and quite a few had “I am safe” in them. The first time I read out loud, “I am safe”, my stomach churned like crazy. I was like, “What is this?” I said it again out loud, “I am safe.” Again my stomach went into knots. I realized that I did not feel safe at all. It was a huge revelation for me. I did not ever consider if I felt safe or not. When I read the affirmations silently I did not have the same response. Sure, I felt weird and a little “out there” for saying affirmations out loud, but it was done in private, and I am grateful I overcame my uneasiness. From speaking out loud I discovered I was lacking a feeling of safety.

So, when you do read out loud, whether it be affirmations, passages from a book or song, or whatever source, notice how your body reacts. As you become aware of body messages, these feelings will get easier to detect. Tune in to your body, give it your attention. My stomach tells me, but we all have different areas; the chest, the head, an arm, it could even be in a finger or toe, but you will feel it. Does it feel smooth and comforted inside or does it feel jagged, alarmed, edgy, heavy, nervous, etc.? Then ask yourself if it is the sound of the word or is it the meaning of the word or phrase. If you think you won’t be able to tell the difference, you will, trust yourself. Is it the sound that is causing uneasiness, or have you discovered something about yourself that needs to come to the surface in order to process and heal?