Seven Steps to Choosing Joy!

It Is Possible

It is possible to change how you live your life.

It is possible to reclaim your life.

It is possible to live your dreams . . .

By slowing down and finding the door to yourself . . .

By discovering your oasis of inner wisdom lost along life’s journey.

—Leslie Ackles

Prologue:

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She had a short pixie haircut and willow-green eyes. She loved to dance, play and explore. And she loved to help others who were less fortunate.

As she grew older she discovered that in order to fit in and to be loved she needed to behave in a certain way and follow a particular path. She learned to do what was expected of her. She learned to do what she was supposed to do—what she “should” do.

She quietly placed her true self in hiding, deep inside her core, and kept that self safe from ridicule, judgment and criticism. That way, her true self would be with her always and would be safe; she would not get hurt.

The little girl grew up and went off to college, got married, bought a house, and had children. Along the way she forgot about her true self. She forgot what she loved to do. She forgot her unique gifts and talents. She lived her life according to what she “should” do.

As time went on, she began to experience a vague feeling of yearning for something that was missing in her life, but did not know what that might be. So she continued her life of doing what was expected of her. It just seemed easier that way.

So it happened that one summer the woman fell six feet down through a hatch, into the engine room of a boat. She could have died. The next spring she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia—a chronic pain of the muscles and joints for which there is no cure. The follow-ing summer a bite from a deer tick gave her Lyme disease. Again, she could have died.

It took these three life-altering events for her to awaken to her current life of “shoulds.” These three crises created a tsunami of realization. She finally grasped that life really is short. She became aware that she was living her life according to rules that no longer worked for her. She realized that she was not living the life she was meant to live—the life that made her heart sing.

Her path then became clear. If she were going to find out what she was yearning for, she would have to begin a journey of discovery. She needed to rediscover her true self and her unique gifts. And she needed to do it now, before it was too late.

So began her search. She set on the path of “the hero’s journey.” She slew dragons—those voices in her head that said “Are you crazy?” “What will people think?” “People won’t like you!” She discovered new lands and terrains within herself. She even found her “Prince Charming.”

To her shock and delight, she ultimately found that her true self had been kept safe all these years—in a cage of her own making, deep within her core. With great presence of mind, she finally set herself free. Her life was now her own.

Oasis-Power Practice:

Write your own life story. This is a critical foundation for your journey through the Seven Steps to Choosing Joy. The clues to where you are stuck now are hidden within your story. The events and your reactions to those events have shaped your life and continue to shape your life. It can be hard to face these past events, so take care to create a safe environment to hold and nurture yourself as you explore and remember.

Find a quiet, safe space. Take in several deep breaths, releasing them slowly. Bring to mind and allow to bubble up:

✴ Major events in your life

✴ Emotional moments

✴ Pivotal moments

Then take some time to recall:

✴ Others’ reactions to these events

✴ Your reactions and feelings

✴ Your actions and the outcomes

Jot down the essence of what you discover. Using those notes, begin to write your own story. Your story can be in the form of a fairy tale, a play, a dialogue, a poem or even a drawing. Claim your own story, your history. Allow your story to inform you as you take the Seven Steps to Choosing Joy.

The Seven Steps to Choosing Joy:

Step 1: Awareness—Listen to your heart and body.

Step 2: Breath—Relax, center and gain clarity.

Step 3: Choice—Choose what will bring you joy.

Step 4: Decide to Say No—Say no to what de-energizes you.

Step 5: Elf Management—Notice and manage those inner voices.

Step 6: Fun and Fulfillment—Lighten up and discover what brings you joy.

Step 7: Gratitude—Be thankful for everything.

It is not too late to choose joy.