Treasures In Tragedy

I am writing this book for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one, but especially for those who have suffered the loss of a child or sibling. I have buried two children and a brother, so I have travelled this grief road several times and in different circumstances; and have learned many lessons along the way. I also found some relief in knowing that in the midst of pain, there are many hidden treasures. You may be struggling with your own pain right now and see no hope. Maybe you are feeling alone and searching for answers. You may have found peace and are looking to connect with others. Or maybe you are searching for ways to identify and help others in their grief. My hope is that my story will help you. Early on in my grief, I began reading books about others who had lost children and siblings, about grief, about signs, and anything else I thought would help me cope. These books made me feel I was not alone and gave me hope that I would survive this. My desire is to help give you a promise of a future in which you will once again thrive At the end of each chapter, I will ask you to reflect on a gift you have received. Grieving is difficult work and it helps to look for small oasis’s along the way; places you find peace and people who care. Nothing will ever take away the pain you feel but there are ways to help lessen the weight you are carrying around. There are no guarantees in life. My dad once told me that life is about change. Nothing ever stays the same. Life happens. It’s not about fair or unfair, just or unjust, right or wrong, good or bad. What is important though, is what we do with all the events that occur in our lives. Once we realize that, we will come to know that life is all about the choices we make in every turn and fork in the road. It is a series of paths we walk along. Some choices help us grow and heal and some keep us stuck in our victimized state. Sometimes we come face to face with people who may mean well, but guide us in a wrong direction. Sometimes we feel we are spinning out of control due to circumstances beyond our control. We must find a place of stillness, difficult as it can be, so we are able to breathe and feel peace-- even if just for a moment. Our attitudes and the choices we make today determine what our tomorrow looks like. We can not escape life’s troubles and tragedies. We all have pain and heartbreak in our lives as well as joy and love. Each event sends us forth in a new direction and into a new reality. We have to be able to adapt with the changes that are always occurring. Sometimes our world is so altered that it is turned inside out. We experience fear, helplessness, and sometimes hopelessness. It is in these moments of vulnerability that what we do defines us. We must learn to allow ourselves the opportunity to question, to be sad, afraid, and angry, and to eventually heal. I thank God for my life and my blessings. In this unpredictable and irrational world, it is so easy to forget all the truly genuine gifts life has to offer. I am not saying life is easy or that I am happy every moment of every day. Sometimes, I admit, it is a struggle to find any joy. But I would like to share with you my journey, the lessons I have learned, and the direction I have chosen to keep my life progressing along this bittersweet road. My healing continues to be a work in progress. My goal in writing this book is that my story brings you hope and companionship, and helps you find the treasures amid your tragedies. There have been many wonderful experiences in my life despite the heartaches. But this book is not about those things. For most of us don’t need help and inspiration during the good times. It is when we are down that we need someone to help pick us back up and get us to our feet. We need someone to guide us in the direction of our own forward journey. That is what I hope my story does for you. I have had the support of family and friends along the way. I have known some amazing and special people who have touched my life deeply. I have watched brave warriors battle illnesses with such grace that it has left me in awe. I have experienced the kindness of strangers and seen people rise to their best to help a fellow earthly traveler who is stumbling and falling. I have developed an unwavering faith and trust in God, most of which was forged in the times of greatest heartache. As you read this book, you will find that the content often overlaps throughout the chapters. That is because the process of grieving is a journey that continually twists with no clear path as it moves ever forward. I know we all forge our own way as we travel this path before us. Our grief is individually unique, but we all share the loss of someone we loved, and that unites us. I hope you will find encouragement and validation in the following pages that will help you and may give you strength, peace, and hope.