The Right Relationship Starts with You

Imagine... -A relationship that fulfills and enhances your life while getting better from year to year. -Experiencing deep trust with a partner—arising out of mutual love, respect, and good character. -Forming a strong emotional bond where you work as a team and have each other’s back. -Experiencing joy, laughter, and an amazingly deep connection with another human being. This is definitely possible, as I’m experiencing all of this and more in my marriage today; however, that is not how I would describe my previous relationships. As a matter of fact, they were quite the opposite, so I definitely know what it’s like to feel disappointed, bewildered, and confused in matters of the heart. Actually, it was my own dating history that led me to seek new information and try to figure out what I was doing that was sabotaging my efforts. What I found was that there is another way to approach relationships, and I’m delighted to share that journey with you over the course of this personal-development book. Forming an intimate partnership with another human being is one of the most sought-after goals in life; so in this work, I want to help you attract and experience that ultimate connection by: •Helping you create the relationship you’ve always dreamed of, but never thought was possible because it seemed so out of reach. •Guiding you to make a healthy, compatible choice in a partner—one in which you share similar interests, viewpoints, and beliefs. •Acknowledging that the joy and satisfaction you seek with another person can only be found by first developing those qualities within yourself. When you fill your life with friends, interests, and activities that make you happy, you will be more likely to choose a similarly healthy and content person. Conversely, when you’re hunting for a partner to fix your life, or looking to be rescued, then that will greatly diminish the odds of choosing wisely. Ironically, the less time spent on seeking a partner, the better the chance of finding one. Putting your life on hold and waiting for Prince or Princess Charming to come along may work in fairy tales, but not in real life. However, a magical connection is possible when two emotionally present people come together and bring their best qualities to a relationship. Many of you may not have witnessed a lot of healthy interactions between couples throughout your life, and so, didn’t learn the skills necessary to create the thriving unions you yearn for today. However, it’s not too late to learn how to transform yourself and your connections with other people so that you can experience more fulfilling partnerships as you go forward. This process begins by looking within yourself and realizing that the right relationship starts with you. This type of introspection is crucial to clearing up the confusion and negativity that often surrounds romantic involvements. As you grow in self-knowledge and understanding, you’ll gain the clarity and insight needed to make the changes that will enhance your future experiences. You need to start with a new and holistic view of your health and wellness, which extends beyond just exercising, eating right, and getting a good night’s sleep. The entirety of your personal well-being involves giving attention to your mental, emotional, and spiritual needs as well. The level of care you extend in all these areas will have a huge effect on every aspect of your life, including your interpersonal connections. Ultimately, you’ll discover that creating a better relationship with yourself provides you with the best possible chance for personal happiness. But creating relationship fulfillment is not just limited to your romantic partnerships, as it also applies to friends, family, and anyone with whom you want to experience a more balanced and productive connection. Therefore, if you tend to get fixated on solving other people’s problems while neglecting to take care of your own, then you need to modify this caretaking tendency. By engaging in more mutually satisfying give-and-take interactions, you’ll gain a deeper sense of personal satisfaction. As a result, you’ll start to expect more equitable exchanges with others and won’t settle for less. I strongly believe that the material I’m presenting in this book is needed now more than ever these days, because people seem to be so disconnected. Many seem to be falling for the quick-fix connections offered by reality shows such as The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, instead of the more sustainable connections that grow over time. On TV, we continually view the lavish, hyped-up unions of people whose intimate connections turn out to be either lackluster, superficial, or fleeting—not something any of us want to emulate! Failed relationships are way too common in modern society—and are probably just as prevalent in your own circles of friends as they are in highly publicized celebrity unions. It might be more interesting to see famous faces going through the revolving doors of romance; however, this is occurring in all walks of life. Consequently, on many levels, you can probably benefit from guidance in this area so that you can learn how to create and sustain long-lasting relationships. I had many missteps before asking for assistance from those who had the information and understanding that I didn’t have at the time. All of the help I received provided me with valuable self-knowledge and insight, allowing me to change the course I was on. The life skills I learned helped me to attract, as well as become, a better partner, while improving all aspects of my being. Many people have approached me and have asked about the secrets behind my marital success. These inquiries have let me know that there’s a high level of desire to improve in this area, along with a lot of uncertainty about how to go about it. Given that I was married before and experienced a partnership that was not exemplary, I can now use all the experiences I had—both good and bad—to reveal what works and what doesn’t in relationships. It’s fascinating to me how different my two marriage experiences have been. One deteriorated over a ten-year period, while the other is still thriving after an equal amount of time. The results from these radically dissimilar marriage experiences are not due to luck or simply coincidence, but rather, deliberate personal actions that I took to effect changes within myself. These actions enabled me to stop accepting unhealthy behavior from those around me, as well as myself. The concepts I delineate within this book are presented in such a way that they can be introduced and incorporated into your life over the next three weeks. Each of the 21 days will feature an inspirational quote, discussion, and action step providing the structure needed to make these daily practices a regular habit. This body of knowledge will enhance your personal understanding, reduce your interpersonal struggles, and assist you in creating a powerful sense of well-being. By participating in each day’s activity, you will discover that growth is an active process, and realize how much power you have over your life. You will start to experience new insights, thoughts, and ideas that will ultimately enhance the way you relate to those around you. Not only will you experience a change in the way you think and talk, but due to the choices you will make, you’ll feel more deserving of accepting all that is good. As a result, you will attract more positive things, situations, and people into your life. As you see the changes from your actions begin to evolve, you will become more motivated, and view personal growth as a welcome new addition. Therefore, following the completion of the exercises the first time around, you’ll want to keep doing them on a regular basis in order to continue reaping the benefits.