In my journey en route to fulfillment, I have learnt that until we begin to claim full responsibility for our decisions and actions, and even for our reactions to the hurtful behaviours of other people, we will never be at peace. Blaming our unfortunate situations and negative feelings on other people and basing our action and inaction on whether other people fulfill their responsibilities or not are the immature attitudes that separate children from adults. We are where we are in life today because we walked ourselves there, because we neither paid attention to the warning signs along the highway of life nor humbly accepted the advice which we were graciously offered by those who cared, those who may have even put their friendship on the line to wake us up from our spiritual slumber. We do not fall into trouble; we often see it coming and yet walk right into it anyway, and then claim to have fallen into it. (Excerpts from Chapter 1, Inception)
Irresponsiveness is the highest form of irresponsibility. To not respond when called upon to do the least possible for others is pitiable. But to completely disregard the innermost urge within us to do the least possible for ourselves and others is despicable. This is often the root causes of regret, guilt, unhappiness, and depression. Self-actualization is not about becoming rich or famous, neither is it about becoming a sage or hero. But rather, it is about doing the small things that we are compelled from within to do for the benefit of ourselves and others. It is to love and encourage others in the areas of life that we may be struggling in. It is to mentor a youth rather than join the band of complainers who whine about their lack of respect. It is to do something for somebody even when it may be inconvenient for you. It is to give something to somebody even when you may not have enough for yourself. (Excerpts from Chapter 10, The Fifth Element)
If we must show off something, let it be our integrity, for it is our most valuable asset. Let it be our quickness to respond to others, to fulfill our responsibilities, to show up for life, and the diligence with which we execute our obligations. Let it be to stand up for what is right even if it seems wrong to everyone else. Let it be to be willing to die for what we believe in even if to die alone. Let it be to be absolutely truthful to ourselves even if everyone else is in doubt. This is the level of integrity that is required in your journey en route fulfillment. There is no alternative. Until your level of integrity is 100% in your own heart, you may be heading in the wrong direction in the journey en route to fulfillment. Excerpts from Chapter 12, Power of Integrity)
True love requires us to alternate between toughness on ourselves and toughness on the people we claim to love. While we may sometimes maintain an imbalance of this fact to our own detriment, it is no longer love when we are consistently tough on ourselves and barely tough on the people that we claim to love. It is no longer love when we are overly tough on others in ways that we do not challenge ourselves. Fear is the absence of love, either for self or for others. Tough love, we have often heard people say, is real love, for love must have a tough element to it or else it is the love of self and not the love of another. When we continuously yield to the detrimental habits of someone that we claim to love for the sake of peace and harmony, which may not really exist in the relationship, we are no longer being loving towards that person, but rather loving and protective of ourselves–to the detriment of the relationship. In fact, this is counterintuitive to the love of God, the love God expects us to have for one another. I have learnt that the most beautiful experience in life is that of love. It is to love with everything you have, everything you are, with no restraints, with no expectations. It is to feel loved even when it is unspoken, to know love even when it is disguised. Love makes nothing else seem to matter, not even what may really matter. (Excerpts from Chapter 13, Return to Love)