High On Life

Your Pillar of Light My long, flowing silk yellow silk skirt collected dust as we rode the camels on the Giza plateau, the rainbow-colored cashmere shawl I had bought years before in India hanging gracefully around my shoulders, gently caressing my white lace top. It was 2021, and I was in Egypt for a special retreat with 10 other yogis. Seeking any excuse to escape the constraints of Covid and the monotony of being confined behind a computer screen for nearly a year, I embraced the opportunity for adventure and transformation. These gentle creatures had become our companions, carrying us through the morning twilight to a remote spot where we would witness the sunrise over the Great Pyramids and practice yoga in the stillness of the desert. As we sat atop the camels for a brief photo shoot, they waited patiently, chewing lazily, while we took in the majesty of the land. I had just changed from my yoga attire into this flowing ensemble for the afternoon’s adventures and photos, readying myself to climb into the Great Pyramid. Like any tourist, I took playful pictures—jumping to make the pyramids look smaller, holding them between my fingers. But inside, something much deeper was stirring. As we approached the towering pyramids, I felt a tug in my soul. These massive stones, perfectly aligned with the stars and built with impossible precision, felt alive with ancient wisdom. The air buzzed with energy as our small group was granted access to the King’s Chamber. Crawling through the narrow passage, the walls closing in around me, I could feel the weight of history pressing on my body as my skirt caught and snagged on the wooden planks beneath me. Once inside the chamber, I felt an energy beyond words—something was calling me. The sarcophagus, a place once thought to hold the remains of pharaohs, was in front of me. The guard gestured to me and without hesitation, I climbed in, something forbidden to most of the fourteen million yearly tourists of this magical place. Lying down, knees bent to fit, I felt a surge of energy run through my spine like a bolt of lightening. It wasn’t just physical; it was spiritual. My entire being hummed with a vibration that I would later realize was an activation—a powerful initiation into a higher state of awareness. I had unlocked something within myself that I couldn’t yet understand. But my initiation didn’t end there. A few days later, in the Karnak Temples of Luxor, I was pulled into a sacred chamber by two mysterious robed men. I had been standing with the other women of the retreat group when the men beckoned me to follow them. They performed rituals I couldn’t comprehend at the time—prayers, symbols, gestures. And yet, every motion felt like a key unlocking something deep within me. I had been chosen from my group for this special ceremony, and it would take me a long time to understand the significance of this moment. When they led me to a statue of the goddess Sekhmet and placed my hand on her third eye, I felt an indigo light shoot through my body, igniting a crystal clarity in my pineal gland. A scepter, the same one that Sekhmet carries and that had been presented to me in a vision 5 years prior on my 40th birthday in Bali, was placed energetically into my body along my spine where I had felt the rush just days prior in the King’s Chamber. My whole being was aflame with divine energy. As I walked out of the Karnak Temples, I felt something shift in me. The person I was, the identity I had built through years of success and achievement, suddenly felt like an old skin I had outgrown. The energetic activations I received left me vibrating with a sense of something bigger, something ancient and cosmic, but I couldn’t quite articulate it at the time. It was as if my cells had been rearranged, and I was now tuned to a frequency I had been searching for my entire life, though I hadn’t known it. But with this newfound energy came discomfort. My entire sense of self felt like it was unraveling. As I traveled back to my life after Egypt, I found that I couldn’t operate the same way anymore. I could no longer chase the external validations that had once fueled me. My success, my travels, the applause—they all felt hollow compared to the depth I had touched in those sacred spaces. It was terrifying and liberating all at once. This is the moment I realized: bliss isn’t something you find out there in the world. It’s something you uncover within yourself.