Ruby-Red Sneakers

My awakening process has been a roller coaster. It feels like the exciting month leading up to Christmas with all the parties and warm Hallmark movies to the month after Christmas when the bills arrive, and the celebration ends. Feel free to insert whatever holiday you celebrate. It's the same feeling. I'm on cloud nine, discovering my bliss, and suddenly, I'm slapped in the face and feel deflated. It is all worth it, and I can slap my face pretty hard. For me, the eye-opening expedition began roughly one year ago. If you compare it to Dorothy's adventure, it would be equivalent to when she woke up after the tornado scene. It’s the part of the movie where she opens the door to find everything in color and no longer black and white. That is where the adventure begins for Dorothy. However, with every merry expedition, there must be a dark side. There are always villains to face, such as the Wicked Witch of the West. When the villains reveal themselves to me, I remember that Glinda the Good Witch has my back with the magical slippers she gave me. I was given a pair of these magical slippers like everyone else. It’s up to me to put them on and take up the quest down the yellow brick road I’ve never been down before. I don’t have to take this journey. I can stay at home in black and white where it is familiar. I must choose. I'm getting bored in Kansas. There's no pun on Kansas; this just happens to be the place associated with The Wizard of Oz. I want to experience my life in full color and know what that feels like. There will be scary stuff along the way, something equivalent to frightening flying monkeys, but finding and using my gifts will be worth it. The beauty Oz reveals will overcome my fears and show me they were never that scary. Most fears are only programmed nightmares to keep us off our path, and they were never real. I never had to make them my reality. Who would want to create fears and keep me off my path? It could be everyone, including me. At one point or another, I wasn't willing to wear my unique footwear, and I did things to stop others from wearing theirs. I didn't intentionally try to mess myself up or others. It's human nature. Individually and collectively, we help each other out and mess each other up. I have good and bad witches, and I need them all for my story to play out. The real question is, who will I ultimately follow and believe in my story? Will I follow Glinda and put on the slippers that sparkle, or hang with the wicked witch and complain all day about the shoes I didn’t receive? Millions of munchkins in munchkin land are waiting to help. They made themselves known when I put on my mystical shoes and started down the golden path. Questions I have in my journal, meditation, and everyday thoughts, slowly and sometimes suddenly, are given a response through my writing, podcasts, television programs, license plates, songs, books, dreams, and occasionally random strangers. I get more insight than answers. They are usually simple, and I often wonder what took me so long to come to this new understanding. The answer to that is misguided programming. What type of shoe am I; did I ever know? Once, I had twelve jobs in one year. Getting the job was easy, but knowing what shoe fits was another story. Perhaps I’m in high heels on a stage, light sandals on the beach, sturdy boots at a construction site, shiny shoes in a business room, or sneakers to weather the long, hard road. The last one sounds right. I continually choose the long route and take wrong turns that prolong the destination. I didn’t love or want my sneakers. I could have enjoyed the beautiful destinations they brought me to if I had. Instead, I put them away in the back of a dark closet when I ran out of shoes to exchange them. I’m beginning to accept my shoes. I’ll refer to them as my ruby red sneakers, and they are officially on my feet. I'm baby-stepping my way on a path to experience self-love and all the joy that comes from it. I haven't overcome fear, but I’m ready to start the second half of this earthly role as an eternal soul that puts joy in my basket. Forty-eight years in this bodysuit is just a blip, a tiny atom of time compared to my true eternal light form that goes on forever. If I could comprehend this, I wouldn’t be afraid of anything in the spooky forest. My angels, guides, and God will not let me down. Challenges will be thrown my way, and I'll do my best to face them gracefully. It gets easier with practice, and false fears fade, but no one receives unlimited roses without feeling a thorn or two or twenty. I’ll do my best not to fear the thorns. They are steps on the rose vine that allow me to climb higher. All my challenges push me to identify the difference between love and light, darkness and fear. I come from love, and I can choose this love for myself at any time, which could serve as a light for others. I wish we all get to experience the joy when Dorothy is skipping along with the song lyrics from The Wizard of Oz that proclaim: You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, step into the light.