ALL OF ME
It is so easy to admit what we love about ourselves and the characteristics that describe us but difficult to admit what we don’t like about ourselves. Let's take the time to go on a little discovery trip into our souls and our minds and be honest with ourselves. When we are honest with ourselves about all the feelings and thoughts we have that describe us then we can truly accept them, this is when we feel true love for ourselves. When we judge those characteristics and feelings as unacceptable we are not able to fully love ourselves. For 17 years I belonged to a women's group, of several different kinds and we were always discussing the subject of how judgmental we could be sometimes, but I had difficulty even admitting that I judged anyone to the point I was a bit slimy. My ego told me my judgements were only made to compare myself to others and I had to judge them to judge myself. Yep, Miss goody, two shoes. Given I had made a promise to live up to an image of love and kindness I wasn’t going to admit that I was judgmental, much less all the other unbecoming characteristics I wasn’t going to admit or even aware of. It took openness, honesty and awareness to admit my shortcomings and even my good behavior at that time was not anything I could readily admit to others or myself, that would be boisterous and vain. I had not loved myself enough to even admit my good qualities let alone accept someone else recognized it in me.
The gift of other women gave me the courage to look at myself openly with no judgments. I was with like minded women who were willing to express themselves fully and honestly, with a little bit of struggle. I felt so much freedom in seeing them reflected back to me; so much freedom in accepting myself and accepting them. Our freedom sets us free to be real. As if you stripped down naked for all to see your imperfections and loving every bit of you. Maybe that’s why there are so many strippers.
What I did find out about myself after quite a bit of soul searching was I am:
KIND SPIRITUAL STRONG PASSIONATE BITCHY
OPINIONATED STUBBORN VULNERABLE BRAVE LIAR
INTUITIVE CATTY VICTIM HATEFUL MEAN
TRUSTWORTHY FORGIVING LOYAL HOPEFUL SPIRITED
SEXY FUNNY GENTLE A DANCING FOOL LOVING CHEATER
TRUSTING SUPPORTIVE SMART WILLING COMMITTED
JUDGEMENTAL NON-JUDGEMENTAL HARDWORKING HEALER
AFRAID THOUGHTFUL PURPOSEFUL GIVING FUNNY
My hope is that my good charateristics will always outnumber the ugly and bad. By knowing and admitting this openly allows me to love myself freely with all my imperfections and I will be able to make conscious decisions not to be mean, afraid, or lie about who I am and what I don’t want to be and I make better choices in my life.
If you're really brave you may want to do this activity with women who you trust. The truth for me is that I was ready to pull off the layers that were covering my true self and discover the essence of my soul that may never have been discovered. The parts of me that were never revealed as a child because of fear and lack of knowledge. That inner child spirit that never got to show itself. Do not fear, there is no deadline to stop you from letting your Free Spirit and Inner Child out. You don’t know what you don’t know until you have a willingness to go digging for the answers that you may think are skeletons but really is the treasure you have been looking for. Other women will show you who you are so seek out like minded women. They are our mirrors that reflect to us ourselves. The good, the bad and the ugly so you will love and accept all of yourself and can shine as the beautiful spirit you are. While you may not like some of their behavior, if you look closely and chances are the behavior you don’t like in them is the one you don’t like in yourself. Every group I was ever in, women's, men and women’s I sat and took it all in. By listening I found myself in other women. When another person shared, I heard myself and understood why I felt the way I did because we had the same experience that I had long forgotten or didn’t understand shown to me. I am very grateful for their awareness and vulnerability.
Questions to ask yourself.
The parts of myself I readily admit to myself and others and I am accepting of myself.
What is the behavior I don’t like and or want others to see?
What am I willing to show others so I can be free?