Remember Who You Are

Once upon a time, there was an old monk and a preacher. The old monk asked the preacher, “What do you think is better? A golden nugget or a heap of soil?” The preacher replied, “Of course the golden nugget!” The old monk paused and uttered, “Would your answer change if you were a seed?” This world does not have an absolute right answer nor does it have an absolute wrong answer. Whatever suits you and makes you comfortable will become the best for you. The passage for growing old is also the same. We always have options to choose in our lives. People often ask what is the meaning of life but I always ponder why not reframe the question into what can I do to make a life that has meaning? This puts the power and control back into your hands and becomes empowering. The play with words makes the journey of life proactive and tangible. You have control because you have accepted responsibility for it. The meaning of life is not something that is passive, or pre-destined, but one which is underpinned by the amount of life we breathe into it. There are many of us making strong efforts in accepting the past, changing and disrupting the present, and preparing for the future. The life course is different for all of us but hurdles will be thrown in front of you, testing your persistence and strength. You maybe shining your obstacles under a positive light or living under the dark shadows of the obstacle. You may or may not have deep memories of them all but you will someday have gone through all those stages. You can transform your attitude to things, to situations and to life. Your attitude and decisions in life can make a positive impact to this world. Through your eyes you will not only look but also see the momentous vision of this world when you find your purpose in life. Shift your vision from only having hindsight, to having insight and ultimately guiding your vision with the light of foresight. Remember that you always have a choice in every circumstance. People may view circumstances under a microscopic lens where too much focus is on analysing and scrutinising. It is important in reframing focus to perceive things through macroscopic broad-based vision. See further and clearer of the full picture to make better decisions. Some decisions become hard depending on how you perceive it, you may want to be given permission or you may feel anxious and lost in the midst of uncertainty. Understand the importance of having self-compassion during times when we feel most lost, lonely, vulnerable and small. Going through changes and uncertainty can be a difficult and lonely experience, it may be painful and distressing but the good thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. You can manage it. Time is the greatest creator, it always seems to magically place things in perfect place and order. It is important to know that each moment brings new hope and every day creates new miracles, because by reframing your mindset you can experience things differently. Reframing decision making can be simple, it can be loosely deconstructed into two options. You either make the right decision and be satisfied, or you make the other decision that is not so good which then becomes your unique story. You have a win or you write a story in your chapter. Either way, the decision defines you and develops your character. It is a learning opportunity for you, that is all. Remember that it is alright to make mistakes. Reframing your thought processes of your mind is critical in embracing the situation. The shadows of uncertainty of the future can shroud your vision, but it is transient, therefore it is important to continue strengthening your stance through your experiences. Take your time to read, absorb and immerse yourself in things you value and that gives purpose. Remember to always be brave and be kind. 2.2 Agree to speak with positive words Humans have a distinct and unique characteristic that distinguishes it from animals. No other animal on planet Earth can communicate like humans. Our speech conveys a plethora of information which includes the feelings, age, gender and perhaps nationality of a person. The words we use are powerful, strong and invisibly influential. How we use this advance communication tool can shape the relationships we have. A simple lowering in our tone of voice can be perceived as a display of power or disapproval. Research at University College London, found that we convey and perceive information from speech not only from words but also from intonation and rhythm. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), Dr Scott and researchers found that words are channelled into the left temporal lobe whilst the ‘melody’ is channelled to the right temporal lobe which is a region more stimulated by music. Conversation is the backbone of relationships. Positive conversation that is uplifting, encouraging and inspiring produces a feeling of wellbeing. The word “Yes" causes release of the hormone dopamine that regulates the mechanisms of gratification. Communication that is filled with positive intentions, positive words and positive attitudes brings more happiness, gratefulness and colour to your day. On the contrary, the word “No" causes release of the stress hormone cortisol. It dampens your alertness and cognitive capacity. Research by Waldman and Newberg, American authors of Words Can Change Your Brain, found certain words had profound influence on bringing negative thoughts as they affect the amygdala. These words include poverty, illness, loneliness or death. However, the effects can be softened if they are placed in the middle of sentences. Realistically, it would be impractical or even impossible for us to eliminate every negative word from our vocabulary when we communicate. Striking a balance in conversation between negative connotations and positive connotations is the key to maintaining equilibrium in our brain chemistry.