It’s All Your Fault

I was 23 years old the first time someone said to me, "Everything that happens in your life is all your fault". At the time I was mortified at the thought! How could all those dreadful things other people had done to me, all those heart-breaking experiences, and all those random events possibly be my fault? Twenty-three year-old me thought, “This woman has absolutely no idea of who I am and what I have been through. She has no idea what she is talking about!” Little did I know it at the time that this was the first true introduction to my Ego Self. In fact, it was another 18 years before I could even begin to accept this statement and to understand the journey of the soul on the earth plane. During those 18 years, I travelled the world, had various jobs and careers, fell in love with a man or two, fell out of love with a man or two, had two beautiful daughters – all the normal stuff. I also became more and more stressed and more and more unhappy. I had no idea why or what was wrong with me. The mental and emotional stress I was feeling created physical reactions in my body such as migraine headaches and digestion problems. The inability to find peace within myself started to manifest itself as pain and sickness throughout my physical body. What I did not know then is that all that we feel, experience and go through in life is absorbed into us and therefore must also be released as well. What goes in must come out. And the easiest way for the human body to release anything negative within it is through pain and dis-ease. All my life I had a fascination with metaphysics, astrology, clairvoyance and crystals and all my life I knew things about people, situations and what would happen next. As a child and young person, I blurted these things out readily and haphazardly, and found myself in hot water for this time and time again; it seemed others did not like it when you knew too much about them, or when you revealed things about them that they did not want to know themselves. And so, I shut it down. I stopped listening to those thoughts and awarenesses and this is when the stress and the unhappiness with myself began to grow. I knew deep inside that I had a purpose in this lifetime and I also knew that I was very very protected – yet still I did not "get" or pursue that missing link. I had many extraordinary life experiences. When I look back at them now, I am amazed that I didn't wake up sooner. But to me in that past time and space, such things were normal and so I just kept plodding along in my increasingly uncomfortable "comfort zone", lost and unwell and with very little internal peace. When I was around the age of 38 (the beginning of my Uranus opposition or mid-life crisis), those in the higher planes (upstairs) decided that, as it was part of my Contract with Spirit for this lifetime, enough was enough; they brought me to my knees to force me to change direction. It was hard – extremely hard. I had moved with my partner and two pre-school daughters to a smallish town in New Zealand and I was the breadwinner for our family. My employers at the time decided that they did not like me or want me to work for them anymore. Rather than fire me or ask me to leave, they labelled me a thief and did so publicly, in a way that they hoped would ensure that I would never work in that town again. I was not a thief – and I was horrified, angry, upset and broken by what they did and what they said about me. This was one of the greatest life lessons of my life, as it completely ripped apart my self-confidence, my abilities and talents within that career, and how I valued myself as a person. Fortunately for me at that time, I had gotten to know others in that small town who did trust in me and who would employ me. These other people believed in me and gave me work and it came to light that my ex-employers had somewhat of a reputation for treating their employees badly. It was at this time that I met the woman who would change my life by becoming my friend, spiritual teacher and mentor for 14 years, before her passing on my birthday in 2016. Margaret McElroy (or Margaret Birken as she was known back then) was an amazing woman and a deep trance channel for the Ascended Master Maitreya (www.maitreya.co). Anyone who had the good fortune to have a Reading, become a student, or be present at one of her channelling events will know the incredible energy that this woman possessed and what this energy could do to bring change and awareness into your life. Margaret was indeed a Master on this earth plane and I am proud to be carrying on the work that she started, along with many other of her graduate students from around the world. Margaret taught me about the Ascended Masters and how closely they work with us on the earth plane. This group of highly evolved Beings introduced themselves to humanity over one hundred years ago, and they have dedicated their existence to helping and guiding us ever since. Through their knowledge and unconditional love, they help us to learn, evolve and ascend through our many lifetimes here. These Beings are called "Masters" because they have mastered life on the earth plane in the few incarnations they had here.