Men Are a Luxury, Not a Necessity
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Speaking again of shopping, this is certainly not only a good analogy, but is in fact, what we do. We shop for the person we want to spend our lives with. Or, at least, we should shop. Many do not. Please take into consideration, though, there are different kinds of shopping, each with different goals and sets of rules to define the shopping experience and outcome. Take, for instance, the chore of shopping for basic necessities. A necessity is something we have to have to support life: food, shelter, water, etcetera. When we shop for a necessity, the methodology of the experience is very narrowly defined. We have to have it to go on with our lives. So, we look for the quickest, most economical selection. And let’s face it, we usually do so in a hurry and do not put a lot of analysis into what we buy. We do very little, if any, comparison shopping. We have to have food; therefore, we run through a grocery store grabbing up sale items, quick fixes to keep us alive while we move toward the real goals of our fast-paced hectic lives. It is just the way it is. This is truly how many, if not most, women (and arguably men) shop for a mate. They feel they have to be married or in a relationship to be whole, to be taken care of or to be valued in society. So, if you think about the way this is achieved, it is very much like a mad dash through Walmart to pick up feminine products before that time hits. And while you may have a preference of that product, your brain says that time is running out. Let’s face it ladies, you are going to take what is on the shelf and hope for the best…not a good idea for feminine products, and most definitely not a good idea for shopping for a mate for LIFE. A luxury, though, is an entirely different animal. A luxury is something that we can live without; not having it does not determine whether or not we survive until tomorrow. It is something completely nonessential to our lives that we desire because of what it does for us, for its quality, and for how it enriches our lives.
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About the Book
This book is based solidly in Maslow’s theory as it applies to real-world situations. The authors purposely broke this theory down into smaller objectives, adding humor and real-life technique so that this book can be used by other therapists and families in general.
About the Author
Nena Burnette, LPC, is a professional counselor who deals with adult mental health issues and relationship issues on a daily basis. Previous careers include child welfare and nursing, and throughout the years, this book has been forming in the back of her mind due to the dysfunction she has witnessed among families too numerous to count. Vonda Boston Keasler, LMFT, surprisingly took much the same route as Nena in child welfare, foster care, and finally to marriage and family counseling and clergy. When asked to assist in finishing this book, she (thankfully) agreed to lend her expertise.