Mandala #1 – Journey begins - Unknown territory
What you will need
– Paper to draw (on either A4 or A3 and cartridge paper works well) and draw a circle in the middle of the paper.
- Chalk Pastels (So you can smudge or even use a little water to spread the colours)
- Pencil for tracing or you can use your coloured pastels
Process- You are seated comfortably, begin to focus on your day thus far even if you awoke a short time ago. Or possibly it is much later in the day and much has happened, go over your day now and ask yourself-
‘What have I noticed?’
‘What have I felt?’
‘What am I feeling?’
Is there a common story or theme that continues to roll around in your head?
Is it positive or is it negative?
Who is in that story or is this you alone?
Now close your eyes for a few minutes and take yourself through your day again. You may realise that there is quite a bit that you didn’t even take notice of, even the way that you spoke to others. Or have you in fact seen or spoken to anyone? What are your feelings? And when you are ready open your eyes.
-Begin to write down the experience of your day and note all the feelings you recall as you go. If there’s resistance to this that is fine, take your time, and maybe start with ‘I am noticing that….’ And go from there. Initially you may only write a few lines. What are you aware of?
-Once you feel that you have written enough re-read it. And then begin to write a few more words in response to this. Or if you feel all is spoken for the time being, then take the next step.
-Close your eyes again for a minute or two or longer if you wish and connect to your feelings. What are you noticing? Then when you are ready slowly open your eyes and with your pastels and paper begin to choose a colour and start to move the colour around the paper. Don’t think about it, allow your hand with the pastel to almost drive itself. You might wish to put the pastel down at times and with your fingers smudge the work. Continuing to choose colours and build up layers of colour and don’t think about it, just do it. You won’t get it wrong, as this work evolves perfectly in the moment.
Continue to be guided by your feelings, filling the circle with colour. It doesn’t matter if you go outside of the circle, you may find you fill the entire page. Great! if that’s what you feel compelled to do. (At other times doing this process you might not.)
You may initially feel elated or feel anger or sadness coming up or the other way around or that you might feel peaceful. Let all of what you are feeling drive those pastels around the paper. You might use thin lines or make dots or fill the paper up with one colour then overlay other colours, rubbing then, with your fingers. You may spend anywhere from 10 minutes onwards, (I recommend at least 10 minutes to get past any initial resistance). Keep going and observe your feelings as you draw.
When you feel that you are finished, stop and observe your work. Then you might add more to the drawing and continue for quite some time, and that is fine. There is always more that you can add. Be mindful of the judgmental thought that doing more has ‘ruined’ it. Be observant of the inner voice, is it encouraging or is it critical.
This is you getting to know you without anyone else’s opinion and through taking more notice of just how critical that you may be, tells you that there’s toxic thinking going on and it’s yours to now work with and to move on. It serves a purpose, so notice if you go on to want to blame others.
While others have had their part to play, this process is about you for the time being. So be with you and be gentle, and if there’s some anger or sadness coming up then let it be ok to be there. Feelings all have a purpose.
Remember to breathe and be with yourself, resistance has a place but now it’s time to acknowledge it, allow your feelings to surface and then let it go. See them like waves, they build up and then they reach a peak and dissipate.
-You may note what you are feeling now. And know these feelings you are responsible for, the feeling good and the feeling not so good! You have the choice to switch it on or off.
This work is assisting in changing the neural pathways in your brain so that you can better equip yourself through life’s up and downs that feeling good is something that you actually decide to be. By letting the stories go and inviting yourself to be in your created feelings of calm and bliss.
-Place your drawing somewhere you can see it daily and if and when you wish to take it down you can do as you please.
If you feel repelled then maybe at this stage let it be a piece that has had its moment and that you have no need to take it further. You can store it and you might find that you feel quite differently about it later on, so be open to that.
Remember that with this work you are open emotionally and vulnerable and other peoples’ words may feel harsh, even if they mean well. Remember their ideas of your work is a projection of themselves and at this stage I recommend you keep your work private, and for you only to dialogue with. And when you feel comfortable to share your work if at all, then do so.
Place your work where you feel you can observe it, allowing it to unfold further insights, is what I suggest for now.
Until the next process - Be calm, gentle, loving, and kind, for this is your journey to define. If it appears abstract, trust yourself to embrace it in its strangeness and unknowingness and if it appears structured, trust yourself to feel supported and unrestricted. Let go, and take big deep breaths regularly, with meditation daily with no unkind words.