INTIMACY

Pulsing with my own nature is an ongoing process, reinforced by the reflections arising from the world of relationships I am immersed in. Strangely, the word intimacy frequently evokes caution, even fear. What could be so threatening about allowing life to pass through us unguarded? What makes us afraid of living in wonder? The fabric of life is a continuum of interactions, whether we live in a family constellation or alone at the top of a mountain. Whatever we are doing and wherever we are, the inevitability of relationships is the intrinsic substance of life. Ignoring that we are part of a bigger energy web has generated a cascade of friction, damaging people and the planet. However, by listening gently to what life delivers, we may feel the wondrous “sameness” we all are made of. Remembering, and forgetting. Remembering, and forgetting, until the force of present awareness becomes stable. Simply said. But once we get off track, it is not easy to find our way back. The ancient healing art and science of Ayurveda comes into play as a way to support us to recognize our essential nature. Ayurvedic texts offer precise guidance on how to invite intimacy with our own bodies and, beyond their physical boundaries, with the subtle realms of heart and soul. When gaps of silence open, it is impossible to identify the cause. It simply happens. Yet, we have to be ready to listen. Preparing for those gaps seems to be all we can do. Ayurveda is about preparing the body to receive the revelations of silence. In the tradition of an open lineage, we find the stability to trust beyond our psychological self which tends to be reinforced day after day. Wisdom is found inside our own hearts, whispering courage to open and listen. What we may find is mysterious and unpredictable. The purity of light cannot be enclosed by concepts, but may be absorbed when the mind is at rest. Nonetheless, our preparation has a common ground. This is the core of this book. The language of Ayurveda can be used as a tool for recognition, a tool that helps each individual become aware of their unique makeup, and that honors and respects their needs and creative intelligence. In addition, daily practices facilitate our ability to face our distortions and disguises. This leaves us free to relate to others out of inner strength, rather than fear, loneliness, or a need to control. This awareness is not about changing what we do according to a new “Ayurvedic” model of balance, or health, or love—or anything else. Intentional change only dresses up the old control. Instead, it is about watching and learning to listen to our sensibility, so that we become better able to respond to situations as they come to us, respecting our own timing and our own needs, and allowing for surprises. Ayurveda is about savoring life’s unpredictability. Ayurveda is also about bringing awareness closer to any situation, waiting and feeling, waiting and feeling… Changes may arise from a natural impulse, due to our response to a specific moment. It is about trusting those responses and moving with those impulses. Sometimes you may act outrageously, sometimes you may be silent, intense, or soft. Sometimes you may sit, suspended in time, alone in the gap. Waiting for a response to arise. It is not easy for the Western mind, to hang out in the gaps, in the unknown. In daily life, our own timing is rarely respected. We continuously learn to adapt to the rhythm around us, rather than vice-versa. We get into the habit of responding on demand, instead of allowing a response to arise, therefore lose connection with our own immediacy. We learn to connect with others when we do not feel like it (or to whom we do not even want to connect at all), and to push away from them when we may actually need their support, only to wind up with an increasingly strong definition of a false self, unaware that we have lost our real center. The process is like building walls on top of a wobbly base. No matter how many bricks one manages to stack upwards, vertical stability will not increase; instead, the taller the wall is, the weaker it becomes. When do we stop and review where we’ve gotten ourselves to? By observing when/how we accommodate others’ pressure and distort our own energy design, it becomes easier to recognize repetitive patterns. Remembering our true nature implies nourishment and relaxation, rather than fighting enemies or past ghosts. Aloneness becomes connection with the inner well; togetherness becomes its overflow. Both are effortless. Both states reflect our being without attributes, a channel for life to pass through. Simply being, alone or together. Being, simply, noticing reflections and reactions… Apparent differences fade in the background, so that what is true love comes into the foreground – the sameness of being. Nowadays, it is hard to stop the outside, for we live on a planet of instant communication. The idea of escaping does not apply anymore: there is nowhere you can go without a cell phone tower in close view. Now, the question is how to sit wherever you are and ride the waves. Even when they get rough. Being with others can serve as a device to unhook from our automatic responses. We need to observe ourselves and persist — and this all takes time. Time to rediscover the precision of our own timing. And prepare ourselves for new options, ones aligned with and attuned to a deep sense of our nature. Meditation accelerates the process of being in synchronicity with ourselves, our discordant notes in time start to harmonize. Thus, when we connect with someone else, if we are listening attentively to our own accords, it is easier to synchronize with another’s rhythm, or to clearly perceive the lack of attunement.