For a woman, life is full! For the first fifty years, we hardly take a breath. We look around and see so much to be done, and we do. Our lives are doing lives. Our goals are to accomplish, achieve, and succeed. When the to-do list is completed, we are satisfied. As one list is finished, however, another begins. Such is the never-ending cycle.
When I approached fifty years old, my life was wife, mother, and homemaker with a professional career in Boston—all very visible positions. My world was filled with people, relationships, and activity. My life was nonstop busy.
Along the way, little by little, I also began living an inner life. It has been my refuge—my secret world—and it has been alive and well for decades. It is the part of me that balanced and renewed and introduced me to the numerous paths I would later follow.
My first book, Beginning to End, is a public expression of my work in early childhood education. It is the me that I presented to the world.
The Way of the Elegant Spirit is its opposite. It is my inner life that I kept for myself. One outer world—the other inner—and these two worlds have peacefully coexisted for much of my life. They have been parallel lives. One restores and replenishes me to do the other with great energy and purpose. They have balanced and completed me as a woman. They have often worked hand in hand. When I’ve needed inspiration to work out a problem in my outer life, I turn inward to find the solution. Doing this, and living this way, has never disappointed me.
Along my journey, I uncovered many lessons for living my life, completely. They appeared one after the other and always when I was ready for more. I also discovered the practices I needed to help me nurture this new life growing within. Everything fit together perfectly.
In the process, I learned more and more about myself.
There are those in life who must see before they believe, and there are those who believe before they see. I am the latter of the two. As I’ve lived this life, I realize how important it has been to believe first. I took numerous leaps of faith on this journey. I lived from an inner knowing. I lived from my heart. If I hadn’t, I would have missed the most important signs along the way.
In my forties, I learned about the seasons of a woman’s life and the three stages of the triple goddess. They are the maiden, the mother, and the crone (the original meaning of this word is crown). It was the perfect introduction—of things to come.
The maiden (likened to the spring season of the year) is a young woman, pure of heart, full of love and curiosity, experimenting with life, trying new things, and having new experiences. She carries the seeds of potential—anything is possible and all possibilities are within her.
The mother (likened to the summer) births all possibilities of creation and devotes herself to other people and things outside of her. She learns to put others before herself as she develops selflessness and unconditional giving. As her children grow, she gathers and uses her life skills as she shifts her focus from family to community. In her autumn season of life, the mother now directs more of her attention to her own needs and creations. She takes pleasure in all that she has mastered and accomplished. She has much to teach and remains actively engaged in society as she uses her expertise for the good of all. This can also become a personal spiritual stage in her life.
The crone (likened to the winter) is the season of life review and letting go. This woman has journeyed through many cycles, is crowned with her silver hair, and becomes a wise woman. This is the stage where she seeds her legacy. Her life is more inwardly focused. She thinks about everything, thoughtfully and deeply. She tells stories, prays, gardens, walks in nature, and gathers with other crones. The changes to her body and brain often bring a quieter existence, which enables her clear access to spirit. No longer focused on others, she has turned her reflections inward. She is not detached from the world—just not involved in the ways she was before. She enjoys more solitude. Others seek her for guidance, and she welcomes them. She has a wide perspective gained from years of experience. She can be completely honest because she has nothing to lose. She holds the wisdom, teaches, and shares stories with those who will listen. Within her is still the lovely maiden and creative mother.
There are many books to prepare us for the first two stages of a woman’s life. But I have chosen to share my journey through the autumn and winter stages because it is where I learned the most about myself! I suspect that is the plan for all of us.
As I’ve moved through my fifties, then sixties, and now seventies, I have noticed a pattern that, I believe, fits every woman. And so, through my experiences and stories and journal entries, I will share my inner journey with you, who reside in my outer life. It is as much a part of me (maybe more) than the woman I have presented to the world for seventy-five years.
When talking with other women, I often hear something that fits perfectly into my own life at that very moment. It is my hope that you too in your reading will find many aha! moments within these pages, a familiar path that you also walk, or a roadmap as you begin your inner journey.
This is my story. But it may well be every woman’s story.