You're Not F*cking Crazy

As I lay in my hospital bed with the door closed and unable to sleep anymore, I decided it was a good time to quiet my mind and follow my nurse’s directives to meditate. The chaos that preceded this moment warranted an intentional pause, but I was not expecting nor was I prepared for what would happen in this meditation. I saw things I could not have made up in my mind and heard things I would not have used in speaking to myself. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, listening to the rhythm of my breath and focusing all of my attention on it. As I concentrated, my mind asked, “What is the lesson here?” I heard the words, “SLOW DOWN” so loudly and with such densely booming clarity that I opened my eyes to see who had sneaked into my room. Nobody was there. I stared at the wall across the room. I heard it again, slowly, and distinctly, this time with several voices in unison: “Slowwww Down!” My mind responded silently, “I can’t.” I closed my eyes again and a surprising dialogue began. “You can. You did. But it took hitting you over the head with a 2x4.” the Voices said, matter-of-factly. “This is what you get when you ignore us.” I felt tears streaming down my face but kept my eyes closed and remained focused on the conversation. “I’ve been busy. I had to take care of mom and get that contract proposal out. It’s my whole life.” “No. It is not your whole life–that is what we have been telling you. Slow down.” The conversation continued as though I was talking to a group of friends on a conference call. I couldn’t see them. I didn’t know who they all were, but I somehow knew they were several beings from my Spirit Team. I had no doubt they had been trying to get my attention. The truth was that I had been ignoring them for two months. I made the choice to straight up shut them out, even ignoring the ringing in my ears (a clear sign that the Other Side was communicating)--a choice that would prove costly.   Stubborn and Thick-Headed I saw a title to a podcast recently: “The Lengths Your Angels Will Go To.” I laughed out loud and said, “Yup! They will hit you over the head with a 2x4.” Throughout my life, I have been called stubborn and thick-headed. My dad said it best even when I was a child. He would frequently ask me, “Do we have to hit you over the head with a 2x4 just to get your attention?” He did not mean it literally of course. Think of it similarly to the scenes in the “Back to the Future” movie series. One of the characters is consistently smacked on the head with someone sarcastically yelling, “Hello, McFly!” Listening to others is, admittedly, not one of my greatest strengths. Sometimes I still must be (figuratively) smacked over the head to get the message someone is telling me. People will tell me the same thing more than once, or in multiple ways for me to understand. My friends and family accept it as a personality trait. When someone tells me the same thing they told me yesterday, they are not being redundant, they are making sure I got the message. The Universe also knows this about me and does not judge. I have come to realize I usually receive signals, symbols, or messages in a series of three, when it is important. Sometimes though, I am closed off. I am busy with other things, and don’t notice the signs. Or, when I do notice them, they go ignored because they don't seem like a priority in the moment. Although there is a clear path for our life here, we also have free will. Using our free will, we make choices which guide our life. Perhaps we step off the main path making a random choice the Universe didn’t expect. It may divert us for a period of time. Kind of like taking a side trail off the main hiking path. We may even get lost along that trail and wander a bit. At some point though, we encounter rocks there or find another trail which leads us back to the main path. The Universe has much to teach us to live a healthy and prosperous life on Earth, but we must not resist where it guides us. When I resist the guidance, ignore the messages, and prioritize other things, the Universe will get my attention. It is basically the same as ‘hitting me over the head with a 2x4’. It is usually unpleasant–often dramatic. It usually stops everything I am doing in my day-to-day life until I learn the lesson or get the message. Sometimes it happens very fast and without any warning. There have been several during my lifetime. I now simply refer to it as “The 2x4 Effect”.