Forgiveness, Healing of the Soul

Why Forgiveness? By Alicia Ann Wade “Forgiveness is a journey not a destination.” Alicia Wade Welcome to the second collaborative book, a new journey to positive psychology and a new way of being. This book came about as you realise through my amazing healer and mentor Reanee Goes. A special heartfelt acknowledgement to her work on forgiveness and opening my heart and soul to be released from the heavy energy I was holding onto. I will take you on a journey right now on my deeper awareness of forgiveness. My forgiveness journey has been one interesting one, and one that people can relate to. For so many years, I’ve been grateful and giving words of gratitude to be where I am now. I’ve said words of gratitude to my ex husband for the gift he gave me, the lessons I learnt and the person I am today. My work has helped many women learn about boundaries, self-awareness, standards and expectations in a relationship for self and with others. The end result is better relationships with self and others. I have realised people have said sorry to me and I have forgiven, yet there was always this heavy energy and unfulfillment within me. Late last year, I wrote a post: 30th December 2021 “𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 This is a hard post, but one that should be shared from my book BE-OUTSTANDING and one yet to be written here today. Addictions are not just a daily dose, They can also come in binging. I admit, I was a binger, Weekends would be consumed with a cocktail of drugs and alcohol to numb the pain I was experiencing. I learnt this from older people growing up. Don’t worry, have a drink, it will be ok! 19 years old was the hardest year, My dad had two heart attacks the same day and nearly died. I was too scared to see him in hospital and avoided the pain. My sister also came out about her sexual abuse from a person we knew in the family. I’ve never shared this before, however, enough is enough with the silence that is made to people. My sister got help, 6 years of counselling and gathering mountains of evidence for her case before we went to court. I was silenced for years, Silenced as a 9 year old child, Sister 6 years old, We didn’t know what we didn’t know. We were manipulated to think our family would be broken up, We would never see our parents again if we spoke up. We listened to a horrible man for years of abuse. We were also gifted many presents RED FLAG I felt guilty I felt shame I felt scared. I had no idea what to say or do for years. We took this man to court and 𝗪𝗢𝗡 the historical case, 18months sentence - not enough in my eyes! But a victory won for our family who stuck together even stronger than before! I documented times in my diary at the age of 12 years old, and at 25 years old I had to face this horrible man. My diary was used in court as evidence. Being placed in the witness box and your story misconstrued was horrible and I don’t wish for anyone to go through the pain and relive this. I see those effected by sexual abuse and family members in such cases, it never goes away. I turned to substance abuse to escape my reality. That’s what addicts do to hide the pain. The same year, age 19, I had an ex cheat on me with his new girlfriend in the next room, I heard it all. I cried all night feeling so alone. My heart ripped to shreds. This was the same year my sister came out about her abuse. I was a sponsor to my ex for his weekend release from jail, so I tried to help him. It was the tipping point of my spirally life. My first love from 14 years old cheated on me. I thought my world would end.I didn’t know how to deal with all of this. I felt worthless I felt unloved I felt like I was in a deep dark hole. Most addicts have hidden trauma, and I say this as I have many in my proximity. I have been coaching and mentoring a lot of people around me. Sometimes the pain is too much so it is much easier to get the quick fix out of reality. I’m not perfect, I’m no angel. I’ve had a couple of setbacks, I’m human too! And I work with my inner demons daily in my mind. It’s hard, but the tools I’ve gained, the work I do. It only helps me to be a better version of me. These events, These life defining moments have taught me to turn my life around. Feel to heal, Be ok with not being ok, Reach out, Share your story. Because the last thing I want is for anyone to go through the pain I went through and also realise you can live a fulfilling life! I have had my past creep up on me, Be used against me, My story said it would ruin people’s reputation. It’s my past, Not anyone else’s. I’ve turned my life around. I’m inspiring on a global platform. My story is not for everyone, I realise this now. This year has taught me that. I share light to the thousands of stories I hear daily in town, across the country and internationally. I’m brave enough to own it! I’m brave enough to share it! I’m brave enough to write about it! I’m brave enough to step up as a leader! If we were ridiculed for our past how are future leaders supposed to step up? Even the best leaders have overcome some sort of story or past life events. Time to own your past, Time to let your story not define your future, You can change anything and rewrite your future. You have a choice, You have the power, You are worthy of everything.