Bye-Bye Boobies
A cancer survivor’s memoir through grief, grace, and celebration.
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Late October was my season to mourn but also to dance. It was a season to die and to be born again, it was a season of letting go of life and a season of regaining. It was a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up, a time to embrace all of life as if there was no tomorrow, and a time of silence, it was a time to hate, and a time to love, a time for war and a time for peace, it was the season of cancer. It was also the season of surrender. October was here, the leaves had begun to shed. I remember picking up a leaf that was golden yellow, and the edges were already curled with brown. I ran my finger over the veins of the leaf, and I began to think of its history. Last spring it was a bud that, when nourished with the rain and sun, grew into a lovely sturdy leaf. I wondered how many leaves were on that tree? I wondered how many leaves this leaf had to say goodbye to before it fell. As I held the leaf, I thought about how those leaves were being vulnerable enough to surrender and let go of their growth to the cold, harsh, unknown months of winter. Thus, they once again can grow their spring buds and begin their cycle of life. As I held the leaf in my hand, my thoughts drifted to the soon-to-be harsh winter months, I would be facing with Cancer. Somehow, I knew in the depths of my being, if I surrendered myself to whatever all the unknowns of this disease would be, I too could experience regrowth. The “BIG C” had invaded my life. It has taken me several years to compile this story and the contents of what I call saying my goodbyes, a manual for healing. This manual is intended to be a gift and guide to help my sisters worldwide whose lives are being invaded by breast cancer. It is also a resource for those who will have to make a decision, which requires us to say goodbye to parts of our bodies that have served us well. It is meant to be an aid to anyone who is facing the loss of any body part. We are fearfully and wonderfully made human beings and whether we are losing our breasts, a limb, an eye, a kidney or an organ, receiving this type of news is jolting, sobering and it is a time for mourning. On the flip side of life, it is also a time to be thankful for the many ways your body part has served you in life. This book includes many of the insights I gained through my cancer journeys and creative ways to cope with loss. I have found one of the ways to cope with loss is to allow mourning or grief to hold its rightful position. For me, it was important to allow time to grieve, in order to move forward to a position of gratitude and thanks for the many ways my body parts served me well. It was a time to be thankful for the role the teacher of cancer could provide in my life. But you may say, I didn’t invite or ask for cancer, or any other disease you are dealing with. But didn’t you? In some fashion or way, I believe we are all given difficult situations in life to teach us life lessons and to hone us into the person we still need to be. Remember, the school of life involves pain, loss and death, part of the human experience, so when cancer is diagnosed, often people find themselves asking “Why me?” Perhaps they blame themselves for not taking care of their body as they should have, or ask the question: Why is God punishing me? Perhaps a better solution to these questions is “Why not me?” While seeking answers to questions such as: What can I learn from this experience? How can I grow, while looking for the meaning of this disease in my life? You may find yourself questioning things you never thought of before. This journey through cancer can be extremely valuable in finding the true meaning of life and finding God in your time of trouble. What a gift that is! If you have spiritual questions, search your soul for answers and perhaps a pastor or counselor who can help you work through these areas of life. Cancer certainly has its ups and downs in life, good days, bad days, days when you are overwhelmed with stress, and days when you are confident that you can beat this disease. On good days, go for a cup of coffee with a friend and just enjoy the good day. On bad days remind yourself it’s okay to have a bad day and that tomorrow may be better and brighter. Take one day at a time, take care of yourself the best you can, and you will probably find the intensity of your emotions begin to lessen as you surrender to your disease and allow yourself to grow through it. Friend, are you ready to take a leap of faith, armed with trembling courage to fight the cancer journey? As you receive this news, I pray you will be able to move ahead step by step and find the inner courage that you thought you never had. Your story is just beginning as you discover the courage and strength to fight this disease. Always, remember you can do this —you are strong! Take heart in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
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About the Book
On that crisp October morning, as I stood on the deck of my home, gazing out at the serene lake, I heard a voice within me that would forever change my life. The words were simple yet profound, “Your results are positive, but don’t worry.” At that moment, I knew that the breast biopsy I had recently undergone would confirm what I already suspected - that I was embarking on my own journey of grief and healing. My life has been shaped by experiences of grief and loss, including the loss of my brother during high school, my mother shortly after college, and my father in my early 30s. As a former pastor and hospital chaplain, I had also helped countless others navigate this path, but now it was my turn to face it head-on. In Bye, Bye, Boobies, I share the story of my breast cancer journey— from mourning and grief to joy and celebration. This memoir offers a gift and guide to others whose lives are being invaded by breast cancer. It’s also a resource for those who will have to make a decision to say goodbye to parts of a body that have served them well. From throwing my own “Bye-Bye Boobies” party to discovering other creative and empowering ways to navigate cancer and grief, I hope this book provides useful tools, much-needed humor, and soulful guidance to help you on your own journey.
About the Author
Joyce Geertman-Van Dyk's life has been shaped by experiences of grief and loss, including the loss of her brother during high school and her mother shortly after college. Her personal journey with breast cancer deepened her understanding of the human condition of suffering and the search for meaning and joy. With degrees in Social Work and Theology from Western Michigan University and Western Theological Seminary, respectively, Joyce has honed her professional skills in fields such as church pastoring, hospital chaplaincy, and mental health. Her extensive work in these areas have equipped her with a wealth of knowledge and a profound understanding of the complexities of the human condition. Joyce is a loving wife, mother, and grandmother who values the importance of laughter and joy in life. As you read her book, you will see her light-hearted and humorous approach to navigating life's challenges.