I SAW YOUR FRIEND LAST NIGHT

“Elisabeth was straight to the point; bossy and too direct, some people could be offended by her direct approach, however, never told lies.” Once established that Elisabeth didn’t lie, Rose continued. “Elisabeth must have been in a good mood that day, because she never talked about the past. On this singular occasion she told me why she couldn’t forgive Veronica.” I had an idea about what Rose was going to say. I still remember an argument between my mother and grandmother, that day my grandmother said that she would never forgive anyone who crossed her, and to prove her point said why she refused to visit her dying father. Rose raised her voice in anger. “I don’t know about you Linda, but for me is hard to imagine an old man waiting for his daughter to visit him before he takes his last breath. Elisabeth sent a carriage to Veronica’s house to pick her up, and Veronica still refused to go to say her last goodbye to her own father. Her father had always loved and supported his daughter regardless of the way she had behaved.” “Are you sure? Often people interpret their own version of the truth.” “Of course, Linda you are right, but I need to tell you what happened next. Veronica, to shame Elisabeth, went to her father’s funeral dressed in rags. It was an act of defiance to hurt Elisabeth. Veronica, our beloved grandmother, hurt her own father to take revenge on her mother. Her father had supported her during her unbelievable hardship, and she, for the sake of revenge, hurt her own father more than anyone could ever hurt a dying man.” Rose paused to inhale a deep breath of air. “As I was saying, great-grandmother Elisabeth did send her daughter Veronica money until she died. I know that the money went to you on your 21st birthday, we also know that Elisabeth’s money paid for your school fees. Can you deny that?” “No, I can’t deny that my grandmother left me money. Why should I deny it? Did she steal the money? Now let me ask you something, did the money make up for all the suffering and hardship my grandmother Vera suffered?” Rose was telling me the truth. My grandmother had left me a lot of money. I recalled all the arguments my mother and my grandmother had had about money and more. And for the first time all the senseless arguments, made sense. My mother would shout. ‘It is your fault. We could have had a decent life, and I could be respected instead of being called the cleaner’s daughter. You only thought of yourself. You were more interested in hurting you own mother than caring for your daughters. And why did you go begging? Did you do it to hurt your mother? You didn’t even think of me; I was barely three years old.’ My grandmother would break down and cry, and my mother would go on and on. ‘Tears won’t change anything. What have you got beside the satisfaction that you embarrassed your own mother? You don’t even miss your other daughter, you know, the one you gave away because she said exactly what she thought of you. My sister was lucky; your mother took pity on her and took her away from you. No one took pity of me. I have endured hardship because of you. I am not lucky. I have never been lucky.’ Everything made sense now. My sweet caring grandmother was a vengeful woman who went to church without practicing what the church instructs its people. ‘Forgive if you want to be forgiven.’ This beautiful quote is very dear to my heart but alien to grandmother’s heart. There was more Rose could have told me, she held back. Our grandmother Veronica hadn’t been brought up to do housekeeping and couldn’t run a household within a budget. When they had food, they ate well, and when they didn’t have any, no one ate. Two of her children died from malnutrition and neglect. She wasn’t a bad person, but revenge and hatred had polluted her mind and heart. Until the very end of her life grandmother never mentioned her own mother’s name to me. I had known love and compassion from her, and to me she would forever be the most caring and loving person I had ever known, regardless of what Rose had said. What I had learned from Rose helped, at last I understood why my mother resented my grandmother. For the first time, I empathized with my own mother. “Rose, it is hard to believe what you have told me tonight, but I know that some of it is true. I know about the funeral: grandmother was proud of wearing an apron to her father’s funeral. I also witnessed mother’s and grandmother’s arguments, until this evening I never understood why, now that I know, I pity them both. I feel sorry for our grandmother and great-grandmother. Rose, you need to believe me that despite everything, Vera was the best grandmother a child could have.” “I believe you Linda, why wouldn’t I?” “You know what my grandmother used to say to me? Only marry for love because love is the only thing that matters in life.” Rose laughed. Her face lit by candlelight appeared distorted, and the way she was laughing sounded unnatural. When Rose stopped laughing, she said. “Do you want to know what Elisabeth used to say? “No. I don’t. I am sure it was something quite clever.” Rose ignored my sarcastic remark and continued. “Elisabeth used to say: Never do anything in the name of love, because love will always let you down.” Rose and I laughed together, and the laughter dispelled the tension the discussion had created, she put her arm around my shoulder. “How could our grandmothers get on when they didn’t agree about love? Love is what makes the world go around, sadly our grandmothers went in opposite directions, that’s all.”