Self-Help Books Don't Work: But This One Will
A Memoir
by
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Want to know how to, “let something go,” as they say? Sounds easy enough according to the self-help books, seminars, etc. But here’s the problem, in order for a person to do this they must understand how each of the components come together to create that particular “letting go” skill. We need to be able to do such things as seeing and setting their own boundaries, having an internal locus of control, having a sense of self, recognizing other, having a well-connected and functioning mind, etc. This is called, high element interactivity. The idea is that the interaction between each aspect is essential to understanding how to incorporate the overall idea (such as letting go). Here’s the problem with that, material with high element interactivity requires a higher resource or “load” of cognition. In English, that means that things that are hard to learn, such as “create the life that I want,” will be even harder because it is complex and therefore requires more brain power (aka cognitive load). What we will see is that we are trying to incorporate these changes in our lives with a broken projector (the mind), using material that the mind doesn’t understand. Un-stuck-ing the mind is part of the solution. The other part is coming to understand as well as gain some healing around our trauma. More than we realize, and perhaps now more than ever, we are traumatized. As I write this, I am quarantined at home due to the global Coronavirus pandemic. We all are! In addition to all the other ways in which a person can be traumatized both in big “T’ and in little “t” ways, this will have a lasting affect upon individual minds, which will then affect they way in which we interact with ourselves and the world. This book brings good news though. Years ago, I was unable to end a painful and toxic relationship and found myself continually putting myself in harm’s way. I wasn’t able to stop. Even after spending $1000’s on talk-therapy, going the self-help seminars, and reading all the books, I could not create the life that I truly wanted. What changed was I did trauma, CBT, and CIMBS work, healed my mind, and along came my body. In this book, I will walk you through what my life was like, what happened, and what it is like now. I have included worksheets as well as worked samples to help alleviate your cognitive load, making room for schema acquisition, all along the way. You’ll understand why when you read the book. Anyone can heal and create the life that they want. If I can do it, so can you and I’ll show you the way.
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About the Book
You’re like me, I know. You’ve read all the books, gone to the workshops on breathing, meditation, yoga, “The Work” by Byron Katie, Est, Landmark, been to therapy, even become a therapist, etc. and still you do not have the life that you want. Sound familiar? Yep, been there. Why do you and I still not have the life that we want? There is one last stumbling block for people like us. It isn’t that we aren’t smart or successful in our careers, it’s that we still find ourselves looking at our lives from the outside, as if we’re a character in a movie or book, and still unsatisfied and unhappy. We just can’t quite cross that finish line. That was me for years and years. However, thanks to the strategies that I have covered in this book, I was finally able to put all the pieces together, started feeling like a whole and well person and wanted to share how I did it with you fine folks. I am finally living the life that I want and have never been happier! Can’t wait and want to know how I did it right now? Here’s a teaser, we can’t have the life that we want because all the self-help books, classes, retreats, etc. are assuming a false baseline. They assume that our minds are working properly, and they aren’t. The material presented in these books, retreats, online courses, etc. is also presented in a way that will not get through (at least to many of us). We are just plainly unable to take in and apply what all those well-meaning people, books and classes suggest. This book points the way out of this problem with therapeutic techniques that get the mind unstuck and changing! Come get it!
About the Author
Dr. Laura Williamson is truly passionate about supporting people at any stage and ability, to transform their lives. As a researcher, writer, therapist, and educator, with over 20 articles, book chapters, instructional CD’s, and professional presentations in publication, she views the process of learning and psychological development through a trauma-informed, family systems, and cognitive-behavioral therapy lens, each of which have been influenced by her extensive training and experience. Several notable influences include LifeSpan Integration, “The Work” by Byron Katie, Cognitive Load Theory, Schema Acquisition Theory, and Relational Life Therapy. She is also dedicated to organizational transformation. Recognizing the need for today’s organizations to fully integrate knowledge about trauma into their policies, procedures, and practices, she is passionate about creating business solutions as they present at the intersection of data- and relational-centered systems. This is no small task and she loves the challenge! Two examples of finding these solutions follow. In an effort to create accessibility for those who would not otherwise pursue a higher education, she created a roadmap for learning and outreach with Seattle area chambers to develop stackable and portable business microcredits around specific study areas, such as finance, HR, accounting, and more. These areas now align with the following professional certifications CPA, CMA, CFA, PCM, CAPM, PMP, SHRM-CP, SHRM-SCP, CAP, which are globally recognized and portable and able to reach a diverse student market. For the second example, she established and implemented success metrics for stakeholders internal to the organization and worked with the system to deploy them at scale, revising on a continual basis based on feedback and data. She insisted on the highest standards through creating metrics around instructional, curriculum, and delivery performance, which are now being rolled out to the entire university, resulting in improvement in faculty performance in exceeding standards from 13% to 83%. Additionally, Laura holds five degrees starting with a BA in Philosophy, MBA in Leadership, EdD in Instructional Technology, MEd in Adult Education for Diverse Learners, and MA in Counseling. Her therapeutic work has been with the YWCA Angeline’s Day Center, WA State Women’s Correctional Facility, PEER Seattle, and the CityU of Seattle Counseling Center where she engaged in individual, couples, and group therapy focusing on addiction, grief and loss, stress management, assertive communication, cognitive distortions and relapse prevention. Her industry experience includes private sector work with several west coast firms including Data I/O Corporation, Boeing Computer Services, Physio-Control, and L-3 Corporation, where she was responsible for a variety of educational technology, technical training, and process improvement projects including the development and delivery of technical manuals, trainings and programs (using multimedia methodologies) such as interactive CD-ROMs, job-aids, reports, and quick reference guides with clients such as the LAPD, the US Coast Guard, and KTLA News in Los Angeles California to name a few. Finally, she has worked for over twenty-five years in higher education in the capacity of adjunct faculty, dissertation chair, dissertation committee member, professor, program director, and associate dean. For four universities she has designed and taught courses for online delivery, international, hybrid, ESL, and face-to-face formats using WebCT, eCollege, and Blackboard platforms.