Ultimate Self-Care

Managing Changes Everything we experience has a beginning, a middle and an end, and is followed by a new beginning. Therefore, do not draw back from the passage into darkness. When in deep water, become a diver. —Ralph Blum (1987, 95) Changes can bring uncertainty, self-doubt, fear, and an increased sense of vulnerability, even though we know changes are part of life. I have certainly had degrees of those feelings at various times when I’ve faced changes in my employment, housing, or relationships, as well as the death of loved ones. I’ve found more often than not, that embracing or accepting changes, rather than denying or avoiding the changes and the feelings that arise, can make the kind of change more manageable because I’m not using as much of my energy in resisting it. I generally don’t mind change, as it gives me energy in its potential for new learning. Too much change, though, whether it be positive (such as receiving an exciting job offer, the birth of a baby, or bringing a new pet home) or negative (being laid off), can be more stressful and unpleasant if it occurs without a break, a period of transition. Changes occurring as a result of an emergency (e.g., accidents, severe weather, floods, fire) are more disruptive; traumatic events can certainly take much longer for adaptation, healing, and emotional balance to be restored. Any of the aforementioned examples of changes in our lives can happen concurrently, of course, and though some of the changes might feel exciting, the experience can also be overwhelming. Depending on many personal factors, such as previous experience in dealing with changes, styles of coping with stress, available psychological and emotional supports, and present state of health, will have an impact on how well we manage change. Self-Care Strategies during Change Paying attention to ourselves in how we are doing physically, emotionally, and psychologically is best as a regular routine for our self-care. As we have seen in a previous chapter, on a physical level, our body will tell us if we are experiencing unreleased levels of stress, and that includes stress brought on by seemingly smaller but continuous and accumulating stresses and changes (e.g., your car is in for a minor repair, and you’re suddenly relying on public transit, resulting in inconvenient schedule changes, while at the same time, a family member is suddenly ill; you’ve also got a work meeting today that you’re not ready for, and you have to get a root canal done, and your dog is going to have puppies any day). Here are some important strategies for maintaining your self-care during changes: • Pay attention to how your body feels and what your body needs in terms of good hydration, exercise, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition. • Keep up as much of your regular routine, which also helps keep you grounded in times of change. • Seek emotional and psychological support in sharing what you are experiencing during challenges, changes, and transitions. • Stay connected with a supportive network of caring family, friends, or coworkers, or seek out a mental health counselor who will keep you emotionally balanced. • Practice the deep breathing and meditation exercises; this will also help keep you more grounded and clear-minded, to allow you to make better decisions. • Maintain yourself in a quiet, relaxed atmosphere by turning off the TV and reading supportive books or articles; this will also help center and ground you, as will going out into nature. • Make sure you keep listening to your inner self; intuitive nudges can help guide you during these challenging times, in allowing you to go with the flow or direct you to take action when it feels right. How Individual Self-Care Affects Earth’s Health It’s important to take time to know our own planet, to take an active interest in connecting with it by spending time in observing and finding out how you really feel in different settings. Digging your feet into the soil, being out on the waterways, watching and listening to the earth’s creatures and plants, and looking up at the sky and stars, are simple ways that bring us closer to earth’s energies in those very moments. Experiencing what this planet really gives us is truly profound. This planet is essentially a planet of love because nature is filled with loving creations and energies. We have forgotten who we are in our true energetic connectedness with this magnificent being. Moving away from our sense of separateness, of insensitive detachment from our planet, as being a thing rather than a living being, will bring us closer to a sense of being connected to the earth. I believe this perspective of the interconnection with our planet, is as crucial to the future and the evolutionary well-being of the earth, as it is to our own. The ways we nourish our minds, emotions, bodies and spirits has an impact on our planet. What we give to our earth will be given back to us. We have a natural reciprocity that is part of the dynamic relationship between humanity and earth. When we nourish the earth well, as we would nourish a dear friend, the earth will respond with increased energy in what she produces. If we consider this kind of reciprocal relationship, then we can come into an increased sense of our interconnected, a sense of oneness with our planet’s living energy. Therefore, the ways and means we produce our food, what foods we choose to eat, and how we store our food and dispose of our waste have a constant impact on our planet. Further, our personal behaviors in how we cope with our feelings and stress levels, and how we spend time entertaining ourselves, as well as what we purchase to wear and how we rid ourselves of unwanted belongings are also factors. These areas and more have a direct impact on our health and our planet’s health. Considering most of us want to do what’s best for ourselves and for the earth, we can make informed, conscious choices to support our own and our planet’s health in some key areas. Here are a few tips: