Heaven is Home
“The one you are looking for is the one who is looking.” – St Francis of Assisi
It can be a challenge to describe this new reality. There was a sense of fullness and invincibility, as if nothing could touch or taint this. I remember being at one of my social activities when a friend asked someone beside me where Michelle had gone to. It was said with fondness, as though my usual outgoingness was missed. Until I heard my friend make that comment, I did not realize I was unusually quiet. I felt serene while previously I might have been more boisterous and loud. I still enjoyed a good laugh, but it seemed I was in my own bubble of reality unaffected by my surroundings. There were newfound feelings of equanimity and peace.
Love permeates everything, and it became clearer that Love is all there is. The happiness I had searched so hard for was unquestionably not found in what I had perceived as the outer world. The world was seen as not separate from what I am, Consciousness-Life.
Heaven/Home is here, in this eternal instant. It is waiting patiently to be discovered. How can it be when we believe our self to be a separate body searching in the world for Home? All forms and every experience in this world and beyond arise out of Home. How can that which is Home seek for Home? It is what it is searching for, not knowing it is already that. Oneness playing at being separate, searching for Oneness. Life’s best kept secret indeed.
As I once heard, what we seek for cannot be found because it is hiding as everything! That is a mouthful. Who could have known that, since there is no individual to know anything? It is as if the erroneous belief that we are a separate self veils reality. The attention is focused on the individual who is not only unable to see reality but is itself unreal.
What then recognizes reality? Is it Consciousness itself? Or is it rather recognition arising in Consciousness? There is nothing that is not Consciousness. Even the illusion of the separate self arises in it. Yes, Love is all there is.
There are many beliefs, stories, wishes, plans, goals, struggles, and efforts tied into the individual. With the dissolution of the self, where do beliefs and stories fit in? They have nothing to attach themselves to, and so they dissolve. Can traces or remnants arise? Yes, they can, and they do. They might do so until this body takes its last breath. It is hard to imagine it not being so. Life is fresh and alive. It does not stop. Anything can arise. Life is infinite possibilities. It is boundless, mysterious, unknown, and free.
I have often thought that once I reached a certain milestone, I would have arrived. If there is one thing I learned this last while, it is that one never arrives! Life is endless. It sizzles with aliveness and continuously transforms. What else could it do?
In paradoxical terms, what Life appears best at is keeping me on my toes. It also never lets me get away with anything, and I love that! It is very quick to point to my illusory ways. I appreciate this. It cuts down on my work! I love being spoon-fed dollops of truth. Infinite, unknown, unknowable, and eternal are good words to describe Life. So let’s enjoy the ride and see where it takes us next. It is a mystery for everyone. We are all in this together, in Oneness!
There is no one to fix, no one to become spiritual, and no one to become happy. There is simply Life expressing itself in its myriad of forms and colors as seen through this body. Or so it appears.
Spirituality. As much as the word and all it points to was very attractive to the individual I thought I was, it is now difficult to say what it means. There is nothing spiritual about the realization that there is no self. It is reality. Life is all there is. There is only this, what happens in this instant.
A non-duality speaker shared that the Unconditional Love that is God or Life lies in its infinite possibilities. No expression is excluded. God is total abandonment to what is.
I observed that labels were losing their significance, and it became more difficult to name the feelings crossing this form. Where does the need to label and identify with come from? It can only come from the belief that there are separate individuals in this world, each having a life. And then labels also arise out of Life! It certainly is unconditional.
If Source is Love and Source is manifesting its many expressions, does that not mean that everything is Love, whether it is interpreted that way or not?
Who gives experiences their interpretation? There is no self to do so. Is it not only a thought that crosses the mind—a thought belonging to no one, manifesting from Source and dissolving back to its origin?
Life is Love. And Love is nonjudgmental and all-encompassing. And then, thought arises in Love. And so does interpretation. And so do judgment and attack. Life sure has a mischievous sense of humor!
When the self dissolves, the thoughts pass through without anyone identifying with them. They are simply noticed. If some become sticky, they can be questioned. In my experience, their falsity has always been proven. Rarely do they linger. They appear spontaneously and dissolve in the same manner. Some may arise more than once, and that is okay. There is not a lot of glue for them to stick to, and so they dissolve.
There is no good or bad. Everything just is. Yet the words and feelings of good or bad arise in Source. As I type these words, the thought of Jesus on the cross appears. I can appreciate and understand how hearing such statements through the illusion of separation could bring forth anger and defensiveness.