A Daily Sip of Joy and Peace

If we ask ourselves, “Is there anyone I need to forgive?” after some reflection we may develop a long list. In spite of the length of the list, we know that there is only one person to forgive: our self. But, continuing to blame others for the story we are living can be enticing. Assigning blame gives us time to deny our role in past events, or gives us a reason to cling to hurt. The painful or regrettable relics of the past are events we may replay and regret with no resolution. Our healing is a combination of forgiving self and releasing blame. When we face our suffering, we become aware of how strongly we identify with the pain, and how the initial pain has been extended into suffering through repetitive thoughts about the events. We repeat the thoughts over the long term to feed the fear of a reoccurrence, but the nagging thoughts are attractors of similar events. We unwittingly invite more of what we are holding in fear. Forgiving others may be difficult for us, but forgiving ourselves can be just as hard. Can we be OK with the gullible, desperate and irresponsible moments in our past, when we searched for love, approval and recognition? The feeling of being “right” at the time outweighed the dangers of vulnerability, insecurity and depression. Perhaps we used unsound principles to guide decisions, and regret the outcomes. When we honestly claim responsibility for our behaviors, we free ourselves from shame or self-blame. We realize that each decision crafted our reality as we live it now, and if we want to have a different story of our life, we can create that as well. Our participation in the creation of the past can be painful to face but freeing when we do. Sometimes we focus on the behaviors that affected our sense of well-being and peace of mind, but we are mainly responsible for clinging to false ideas. The self-recriminations we invest in diminish us and boost the persona of the false self. Until we notice that our responses to events are sometimes more self-damaging than the events themselves, we may continue to believe stories of our lives that do not serve us. We are perfect spirits engaging in imperfect behaviors that create life stories. When we forgive ourselves and others, we release the fragrance of peace.