Self-Mothering

She knew it was a problem, but like most people in denial of the full ramifications of their behavior; the full consequences came the next day, like being hit by a Mack truck. The superwomen symbol on her chest had tire tracks running through it. An unnecessary suffering. To inspire her to hang up the Superwoman outfit for good I asked "if you were taking care of the little girl inside you, what would have been different?" I was asking her to do Self-Mothering. I needed her to look at herself as a precious child that she needs to be guided and protected and not allowed to come to harm. I needed her to the mother of that child, once harmed, that would nurturer and heal the wounds with love, compassion, understanding and wisdom. This little book "Self-Mothering" was created to answer the question for her, all the other super women and supermoms like her I see in my practice, in my life, as well as that woman in the mirror- myself. I needed to define what self-mothering looks like and how it can work in one's life. How can I expand this concept to make it feel real and do-able? The lessons I share with my patients are never just for my patients alone, they are always lessons for patients to come and myself as well. We are all connected. It is a sacred contract. Chapter 1- My Mothers Council No one person can be the end all and be all for anyone. The ancient African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” plays out in our adult life as “It takes a council to raise an adult.” We never stop changing but are we growing? Are we conscious of choices we make in our development as human beings pushing humanity forward? If you are asking yourself these questions I am sharing my journey so far with you. Just as roads have been built and building and civilizations have come and gone our human thought is being created and remodeled regularly. I choose to make this an active process. I know that my life has been preceded by seekers that can lead and guide me. I realize I need mentors and role models all along the way and have been fortunate to have access to their wisdom. Life can happen to us or we can happen to life. Be responsible. Choose to be the captain of our ship. Not a martyr, not a victim, not blaming or complaining. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi. My Mothers are helping me make those changes. This book was on post it notes around the edges of my mirror in ideas and phrases gathered from the counsel of the mothers I gathered over the years. My Council of Mothers are gathered in my photo albums, my ancestral tributes, my library bookshelves, my dream journals, my cell phone notes and pictures and in the obituaries from a box on my alter. Every appointment is a divine appointment- a holy relationship. “An idle mind is the devils workshop” English Proverb. A fertile mind is the womb of creation. Ideas are conceived in the dark recesses of the mind. They are birthed through manifestation in real time in real life daily mundane circumstances that can illuminate us or keep us stuck going round and round but nowhere fast. The Mothers’ Council I have assembled in this book are some women I’ve chosen to counsel me in specific areas of their expertise and experience where I have questions. We need help from outside ourselves to see ourselves and to gauge our development. Many of my Mothers I was introduced to in childhood figuratively through books, stories and history. I draw meaning from their words and lives. These are my role models. Those that I do know personally I’ve come to know throughout my life and have drawn from my personal reflection and connection. These are my Board members. When I am deciding on an intention or trying to solve a problem I’m facing I have a board of directors to consult. I reflect on their qualities to decide, who are the mothers I need for this situation and why do I need them? I have chosen to share mothers through the journeys of my many age set transitions. I want to introduce all the 11 categories of my Mothers with a Brief description of their qualities and how they have been helpful in the variety of difficulties. This overview will be detailed in further chapters with specific examples from my Mothers Council, one historical and the other personal for each of the maternal categories: Earth Mother; Doctor Mom; Mother Sister; Mother Wit; Lawyer Mother; Mentor Mother; Sexy Mama; Warrior Mother; Grandmother Mother; Queen Mother; and Godmother Mother.