Wellbeing for Mothers

My Story By Mary Vanessa North I thought I was living the life of a typical stay-at-home Mum. I thought it was a rite of passage as a Mother to devote your life to raising your children, as I had seen done throughout my family and to put your kids first and yourself last. I have 2 active, gorgeous and charismatic, young sons; Robbie (5) and Harrison (4), whom I adore and would do anything for, but I didn’t realise until I became ill, that ignoring my own needs to prioritise others’ needs, all of the time, would be so detrimental to all of us. In 2014, I had been battling a constant stream of minor illnesses, such as colds, sinus problems, a burst ear drum, teeth problems and just generally feeling unwell and un-nurtured. Even though I would go to the gym a few times a week, I thought it was normal to feel constantly exhausted and I often skipped meals as I rushed from one thing to the next. I became overwhelmed by looking after the children, looking after the house, trying to squeeze in time to work on my husband’s Arboriculture business from home and all of the domestic duties on top of it. I didn’t feel I had the right to complain, because I felt so blessed that I was able to raise my children from home without having to go back to work and that I had been given the privilege of raising these beautiful souls. I would seek solace in my Mother’s group and Kindergarten friends, which just reaffirmed to me that most Mums were in the same boat. But my life was completely out of balance and I was completely burnt out and what was making it worse for me, was that I was also trying to deal with my health, which was in a rapidly declining state. I felt that my ailments were really just getting in the way and annoyingly slowing me down. The last thing I would have made time for was to get a blood test. Still, I would find myself day dreaming of nurturing my spirit, having time to meditate, even just have a “doona day” where I could lie in bed and not have to do anything for a day. I kept reminding myself that “one day” I would have time to write and felt guilty that I would think about my own pursuits, when I should have been appreciating the time I had with kids at home, before they started school. My husband has always been supportive with the kids, but he was caught up running our family business and I felt that he didn’t really understand the pressures I was under and we didn’t get to spend much quality time together. I would also feel guilty if I showed interest in doing something for myself such as writing or other activities, because the business is what brought in the income and my husband needed help, so I really suppressed what I realise now was my soul purpose. The universe however, had other ways of making me see this and changed everything.