Don’t Call Me Annie!

A few months after Louisa arrived, my life took an unforeseen turn. It was the end of July 1814 and another ship, the “Broxbornebury” had berthed down at the docks, and I received a couple of letters from home. The first thing I did when a ship came in, was to check in the Gazette to see if there were any letters for me. This time there were two. I was sitting in the parlor reading the first letter that happened to come from Aunt Bessie. She was telling me all about the tribe of grandchildren cousin Mary was providing, and how dear Uncle Charlie was suffering from the gout, and how wicked old Pearl had finally died. I was lost in thought, all this news carrying me back to my terrible childhood, when there was a vigorous knock on the door. Jinny was there and she hurried to open it and a large bulky woman loomed in the doorway. “I’m here to see Jim Steel. Is he home?” she mouthed. Jinny didn’t take to this stranger’s aggressive manner and said Mr Steel wouldn’t be home until dinner time, and to come back later. The woman’s face looked grim and her dark eyes glittered. Looking Jinny up and down like she was the hired help, she spluttered, “Hogwash! I’ve come to stay and I’ll make myself comfortable right here, if you don’t mind. I’m Mrs James Steel!” The silence was deafening! As I took in what she said, it was like I was having a nightmare wide awake. I dropped the letter and leapt to my feet, my brain in a frenzy. But my guardian angel whispering ‘Keep calm!’ must have caught my attention. I said, “I don’t know who you are, my friend, but I am Mrs James Steel, and have been for the last three years. I think you’d better leave.” “Don’t you ‘friend’ me, woman!” She yelled, “I should have bloody known he’d be up to some shenanigans! He’s been writing all these years declaring how he’s so lonely and miserable but couldn’t possibly come home, even though his seven year term has expired. So I decided to come and see for myself how he was suffering, and it’s taken me five months to get here, and I wish to God I’d never left London. I’ll have to go and see Mr Bent. I travelled with him on the ‘Broxbornebury’ and he’s a lawyer. He’ll know what I should do.” Her face began to crumple, and with a gasping sob she burst into tears. I waited silently, my mind in a turmoil until at last the woman drew breath, sniffed and composed herself. I motioned her to a chair as she looked around the room. “Nice place! I suppose I can’t blame you for his tomfoolery. You know, I could never trust the bastard! I should have known he’d be making himself cozy, but you’re going to have to find somewhere else to live, because I’ve got prior right.” ”I think that’s debatable!” I said, remembering Francis warning me to never admit guilt. “But do sit down and perhaps Jinny will put the kettle on. We both need some time to think.” Jinny was standing there gauping from one to another, while I tried to assemble my thoughts, but she took the hint and lumbered off to make some tea. This was going to need more than an explanation from James Steel. It would have to be a talk with the Governor’s Secretary, but I couldn’t just up and leave, or I might not be able to get back in, if what Mrs Steel said was true. My best option was to play it cool and wait for James to come home. Silently I agreed, he was a bastard, and what a shock he was going to get! It was only about ten of the clock, so there were a lot of hours ahead of us. I heard all about her voyage out, and how she had become friends with Mrs Francis Greenway on the ‘Broxbornebury’. Mary Greenway was coming to join her husband, an emancipist architect. He was erecting grand buildings all over the colony for Governor Macquarie and making the place look quite civilized. After a few more cups of tea and a tot of rum Jinny had produced from some secret hiding place, we were getting along famously! We were on first name terms. She was born Constance Jeffries of a good Quaker family and in a moment of madness had fallen in love with the young butcher’s apprentice with a silver tongue, a black heart and light fingers, some of which were now missing. She didn’t discover what a conman he was until the knot was tied, and he had gone up before the magistrate more than once for larceny before his transportation. Over more rum courtesy of Jinny, I just about had Constance’s life story. By mid-afternoon, we were crying together over the perfidious, devious, base born James Steel. Jinny sat there drinking it all in, and by late afternoon she was offering her well tried wisdom to us both. “Ee Duckies, if I were you, I’d be lockin’ the door on ‘im until it’s all sorted. I’ve known a few others what pulled the same trick, and why should either of you suffer because of his tricky ways? I’ll make you up a bed on the couch, lady. It’s quite comfy! I’ve slept on it meself a few time when ‘is nibs’s been away. Now don’t fret, I can get anything ye need from the market tomorrow and there’s the tavern next door, and of course there’s plenty of meat. Let the beggar go sling his hook! He’s got lots of shifty mates what can help him out, you’ll see.’’ We agreed Jinny had the right idea and settled in for the siege, but it didn’t last long. We heard James coming as the cart rounded the corner of Margaret Street. After a few minutes he tried the door and found it locked. He knocked, and we just sat there looking at each other without a word. He knocked again more urgently and called out resentfully, “Annie, open the bloody door!” and I felt my anger burn white hot. I leapt off the chair and threw the window open. ‘Don’t you Annie me! You can take yourself elsewhere, you evil liar, you’re not coming back in here tonight.’ ‘Why ever not, Annie? What’s got into you?’ He looked bewildered but only for a moment as Constance came and stood beside me at the window. I’ve never seen anyone fall to pieces as quickly as Jim did at that moment. He turned ghostly white in the lantern light. His face was distorted with shock and unbelief. His voice rose an octave and he squeaked out just one word, ‘Connie!’ His eyes rolled back and he fell in a heap, unconscious. We looked at each other in alarm and wondered if we’d killed him. He’d killed our cunning plan stone dead, anyway! We opened the door and Jinny brought some brandy. Jim revived as the raw spirit hit his throat, but he began shaking violently, wracked with sobs. All he could say was, “Oh dear, oh dear, I never thought!” over and over. Constance took control of the situation and berated him for the next half hour in a stentorian voice, whilst Jim continued to have trouble focusing. Then he recovered his senses, and began answering back, and giving as good as he got. What a racket! With so much shouting going on, and with the neighbours and shop assistants enjoying the spectacle, it was not long before the law turned up. Two or three of the regimental privates were there and a sergeant who began asking questions. He was even a bit amused at this apparent domestic dilemma, and laughed out loud when the situation was explained, and that made me very angry indeed. I stamped off into the bedroom and locked the door and threw myself onto my bed and all the pent up emotion inside me poured out. All the years slid away and I was a little frightened girl again, back in the woodshed in Amesbury. I sobbed into my pillow and felt so lost and alone. I was almost at the point of chanting ‘I hate him! I hate him!’ when I distinctly heard a voice, and I believe it was God speaking to me. Ann! Ann! Dry your tears and don’t give up! We’ve come a long way, you and I, and I’ve got more for you yet. A profound peace washed over me as I realised anew that I was not alone, even though my world was in tatters. The sobs subsided, and I slipped into a deep and dreamless sleep