Chapter 1
Limiting Belief #1- Fears Run Amuck
AKA “There’s nothing I can do about them!”
“Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Part One: What the Heck Is This?
Fears Run Amuck is a limiting belief characterized by feelings of helplessness. If your fear or worry appears to have taken on a life of its own that feels beyond your control, you may have allowed yourself to become captured by this belief.
Fear and worry can be powerful forces that influence the way you think and act daily, yet it is not always easy to recognize the connection between your fears and the way you go about your daily life. Occasional fearful or worrisome feelings are a part of being human. When fears take over and dominate your decisions, however, your Fears Run Amuck must be taken out and examined.
Fears Run Amuck tend to blend together into one amorphous lump of overall discontent which can include many different emotions. Here, we discuss what we view as two of the most common troublemakers: fear and worry.
Common Fears
Fear of Losing or Not Having Enough Money: The “I Want to Be a Millionaire” Game
Remember that popular early 1990s TV show “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” People were hooked on seeing people either win a lot of money or lose a lot of money. The stakes were high. However, this was TV fantasy, much like a Disney movie that comes into our living rooms to entertain us.
Money is a big issue for a lot of people and dreaming about winning big can be an irresistible hook for many. Lottery games and casinos abound, promising wealth to those lucky few who strike the right combination. It seems natural and actually kind of fun until you consider that this common money fantasy is born out of scarcity thinking.
Scarcity thinking is fear of not having enough. If you imagine your life consumed by lack, you may view what you currently possess as not enough. If you allow Scarcity thinking to take over your thoughts, you will never have enough even if you have more money than you could ever possibly spend. Abundance thinking, in contrast, takes the opposite view. In abundance thinking, you appreciate what you have and you know that it is within your power to create more of what you desire.
Money signifies security, a basic survival need. When your security is threatened and you do not have enough money to meet your basic needs, then the fear of not having enough can overwhelm your life. Have you ever had a time in your life when the fear of not having enough took over? If so, then you know how this can make you feel small and afraid. When you feel this way, you tend not to take risks. Your creativity may shut down. This type of paralysis is particularly unfortunate because when you need to attract more money into your life, you also need to think outside the box and take acceptable risks.
When you do the same thing over and over again, most often you get the same results. Until you can face your fears and do what needs to be done regardless of your fears, you will remain in the same condition.
Lynda: My cousin, Joe, died a rich man. During his entire life, he acted like a pauper. He didn’t ever enjoy his money. He constantly felt defeated by his brother, who was a multimillionaire. Joe’s mother idolized Joe’s brother. She was very quick to point out how his brother was so successful. Joe’s drive to be successful was his way of proving that “see, I can do it, too.” Money, in Joe’s case, was a measurement of his self-worth. The more money he acquired, the more Joe felt like he was a successful man. In accounting systems, he prospered. In reality, his lifestyle and relationships suffered. Money was such a driving force in his life that he really wasn’t generous throughout his life. In the end, the government took a great big chunk of his estate. In Joe’s case, he was so devoted to working that this was the only way he could feel satisfaction. Working became an obsession; it became Joe’s God. Joe used acquiring money to combat his fear of not being enough in others’ eyes.
Deb: I’ve seen this same type of story play out in other people that I know as well. The sad part is that they never feel satisfied for long, if they ever do.
Lynda: The fear of not having enough is powerful and it can govern your decisions. People stay in situations that they should have long ago left, such as jobs and relationships. Often, they don’t stay in those relationships or jobs happily or willingly. They end up making themselves and those around them suffer. The more you suffer, the more you will suffer, because what you resist persists.
Fear that Someone is Out to Get Us aka Monsters Under the Bed
Unnamed fears abound and if you invite them to creep into your life and take over, they will. While a reasonable amount of prudence in life is advisable -- by all means, lock your doors at night and don’t walk alone in dark alleys -- we invite you to question unnecessary fears. The fears that we speak of are the kinds of fear that cause you to obsess about risks and avoid taking chances due to imagined horrible outcomes. This fear limits you and prevents you from trying the things you would really like to try. Whether it’s paragliding or public speaking, this fear makes monsters under the bed become real. If your childhood monsters are still living under your bed and guiding your life, you may want to question them.