Stick It to Me, Baby!

If we change the way we view infertility, to see it more as an invitation to know ourselves, instead of viewing it as a punishment to be endured, then we naturally start asking ourselves what we need to do first to be happy before becoming parents. What might we need to experience before bringing a little one into the world? Self-acceptance? Courage? Forgiveness? Better self-care? Emotional stability?

These days we are advised to raise our children to have open minds, kind hearts, self-confidence and the courage to pursue their dreams and individual expression. Shouldn’t we, as their intended parents, know those same expansive feelings?

While living with infertility, people often get stuck, focusing only on the negative aspects of the journey to parenthood…all the appointments, costs involved, hormone injections, side effects of medication, the taste of Chinese herbs, and various diagnostic procedures. But what is also offered on this journey, if we choose to look at it differently than how we’ve been conditioned, is a deeper understanding of our emotional and spiritual selves.

Stick It to Me, Baby! reveals how reframing negative experiences and gaining self-mastery changes our lives in ways beyond getting pregnant. By embracing the spiritual aspects of human existence, in general, we come to discover that we never have to be stuck with the challenges that life presents. Rather, we can ultimately embrace the path of infertility as a profound opportunity to awaken to the best of who we were always meant to be.

Chapter 1: The Uterus Is Our Second Heart

The first concept I recall learning in my post-graduate level Chinese gynecology class is that, “the uterus is the second heart.” Much like its counterpart located in our chest, the uterus is a storehouse of emotions and blood. Therefore, the uterus possesses the ability to store joy, love and happiness, as well as emotional wounds.

The uterus is energetically balanced and supported by the heart and kidney organ systems, and is affected by the emotions associated with each. The “heart system” is associated with joy and love, while the “kidneys” are associated with fear. Therefore, the uterus is affected by the way women process feelings of love and fear. When there is deep-rooted fear, we will find a lack of joy; and when we truly love our lives as they are, the fear of being denied the joyful experience of motherhood cannot exert power over us.

I remember thinking years ago that if emotional blockages from our past were released and the ideas of self-love and acceptance were emphasized, we would hold the power to transform an unhealthy uterus into a trusting, open receptacle. Under those ideal conditions, the uterus would be able to receive love from others -- it would be primed for conception, and capable of housing a baby for 9 full months.