He Swept Me off My Feet … and Dropped Me on My Head

He swept me off my feet . . . and dropped me on my head, and I landed on a soft, fluffy pillow of self-love and acceptance. Well, maybe that’s not exactly how it happened. First I had to get through the pain from the self- imposed concussion I received as a result of my denial, self- destructive behavior, depression and all-out self-loathing. The pillows had been there for me the entire time. I just couldn’t see them through the crusty film that had formed on my contact lenses from crying so much. But brighter days were ahead. Intuitively, I always knew this. Although at the time I had no idea what intuition even was . . . We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt the pain, the disappointment, the feeling of losing everything. It’s a pain worse than passing a kidney stone, falling off a mountain . . . or having your beloved iPhone stolen. It’s the worst pain EVER. Most of the time we don’t see it coming. It blindsides us and sends us reeling—shocking our system to the core. Yes, my friends, I’m talking about the dreaded Break-up. The Dumping. The “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” moment of truth. Sometimes you sense something’s not quite right. You prepare for it. You know it’s lurking around the next bend. But all this “knowing” doesn’t truly prepare you for the pain. Heartbreak is a real thing. There are scientific studies that show that heartbreak actually causes physical harm to the body. People have been known to die from a broken heart. So why then do we trivialize it? If you tell your friends that Mr. Wonderful dumped you, they’ll let you cry for awhile, but it’s not long before they’re dragging you out, attempting to “fix” you by convincing you to hook up with someone else. “He was a jerk anyway. You just have to get back out there and forget about him! You deserve better!” But you don’t think so. Sure, the “screw him” aspect of your ego believes this. For a moment. But what happens to most people is that we tend to spiral into the never-ending “I suck and I’ll never find anyone to love me” cycle of self-loathing. Eventually, our hearts heal and we’re ready to get out there. But are we really? Have we really done the work on ourselves? Have we really gone deep and healed what attracted the so- called jerk that broke our heart in the first place? For most of us the answer is no. Why? Because THAT would be really painful. To really delve deep into our consciousness and find the parts that hurt, really feel them and release them so that we can heal is, quite frankly, a foreign concept to most of us. We’d rather put a bandage on the wound and go out and find someone else to make us feel whole again. Someone who will ease our loneliness. Someone who will be there for us—for now. Until they’re gone. And the cycle begins again. I know this sounds quite depressing. But there is hope. There is actually a way to break the cycle of “searching for Prince Charming, thinking you’ve found him, and then discovering he’s a frog in disguise” over and over again. The way to end the cycle is quite simple and yet so hard to do. The solution is: LOVE YOURSELF. Unfortunately, most of us learn to love and accept ourselves the long and hard way. We’re raised to believe that loving yourself is conceited, self-absorbed and flat-out WRONG. In actuality, loving yourself enables you to open your heart and LOVE OTHERS MORE. If you love yourself, you tend not to judge others. You stop comparing. You’re not threatened by others’ successes. You’re FULL, so you have so much more to give. Basically, you become a radiating, light-filled, joyful, loving person. Who wouldn’t want to be around that? This is my story of spiritual transformation from fear and self-loathing to joy and self-love. Through my experiences of getting “dropped on my head,” I learned to connect to my higher self, follow my inner guidance, take responsibility for everything in my life, and discover the importance of forgiveness. I learned that all relationships—no matter how big or small, romantic or platonic—are meant for personal and spiritual growth. And most importantly, I learned to love myself. This is my journey. Enjoy! But more importantly, enjoy yours.