Commit to Feel Good!

Is joy elusive?

Why have we been unable to achieve this joy, this happiness in our lives to date? Why does it seem so elusive? How is it that, no matter how hard we try, we cannot seem to grasp onto happiness and hold it in our life? “I have the new job, the new car, the new boyfriend/girlfriend, the bulging bank account. What I don’t have is happiness. What’s going on here?”

The answer to these questions lies largely in the beliefs and stories that we continue to believe and tell ourselves on a daily basis. You’ve probably heard this a million times before, but until recently, I haven’t found any useful way of changing that situation, and my guess is that you haven’t either. More importantly, these beliefs and stories that we continue to tell ourselves, we do in a manner in which we are not fully aware. Perhaps they are lodged or even programmed somewhere in our subconscious mind. If we were fully aware, we would surely change what we believe and tell ourselves a better feeling belief and story; if only we knew how.

The simple truth is that you can’t change what someone did to you or what he or she said to you when you were a child. No longer are the lessons about right or wrong, taught you by your dogmatic religious educator relevant to you. That your teacher told you and your parents you were never going to be an A-grade student is no longer important. Sadly, we hang onto these stories sometimes for the entirety of our lives.

If you have been working on your self-development, you may have visited these stories, and the beliefs they promulgate, many times. And I’m sure that, to this point, you have never felt any better about them than you did when you first experienced them. “If” statements probably accompany your recollections. If they hadn’t done this, things might have been different. If they hadn’t said that… if I didn’t believe them… You cannot change the past by rehashing it with “if” statements. This incessant rehashing that we have a tendency to engage in magnifies the negative effect these events and emotions have on your well-being. Therefore I suggest that you spend very little time analyzing and evaluating events and feelings that don’t feel good. What is important is the effect that continuing to hold these beliefs and continuing to tell these stories is having on your well-being.

The Oxford Dictionary definition of a belief is this: something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion; an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof! According to Abraham-Hicks, a belief is a thought that you keep thinking. That’s it! A belief is a thought that you keep on thinking. If I work hard, I’ll get everything that I want; if I love him enough, he’ll love me back; good people put others first; no one values my contribution. Getting to the source of these beliefs can be arduous work if you plan to revisit all the issues of your youth. A simpler way is to notice how you feel. Notice what it is that you are creating in your life, what sort of life you are living and how it feels to you.

The exercises and information in this book will assist you to pay attention to the way you feel and change those thoughts that don’t feel good to you. In doing this, with a little effort, you will begin to create new beliefs that will replace the old ones without all the pain of reliving your past experiences. Now doesn’t that feel good!