Make Life Better

The Wisdom of Confidence Confidence is how I feel when I am doing what I want. I’m doing it the way I want to be doing it. My actions are matching my intentions. This does not necessarily mean I have arrived at the successful completion of a project. It does mean that each step I am taking tells me I am making progress. Confidence prolongs Encouragement by asserting my self. I am on the way. I am making the journey. I am doing it. The dining room needs painting. I can handle that. We want to have a delicious meal for our guests. No problem. We need a dependable, economical new car. I’ll take care of it. The back porch needs a thorough cleaning. Leave it to me. I want to stay close to Amanda as the years go by. I know what to do. I want my new interns to feel safe quickly. I’ve learned how to do that. I want our directors to realize the seriousness of our problems with our administrator. The memo flows out clearly. I want to be clear about the joy of confidence. I let the words come. Confidence is the pleasure that bridges the gap between what is and what may be. Confidence is normally a buoyant mixture of excitement and fear. It is not necessary that there be no fear in confidence. In my years of bodywork, I was delighted to learn and relearn that so often when I’m afraid, if I look a little deeper, I’m also excited. When something is important enough to get me excited, it’s often also likely to scare me that it may not work out. Confidence is the energy in my love for my goal – whatever it is that I want – and this energy carries me through my fearful doubts. I’m like the breeze flowing through the leaves on a tree. These obstacles are not deterrents. They just give me a way to make a little music. My progress is assured. I know where I’m going. I’m on the way. It’s so good. I am doing it. To confidence, obstacles are simply opportunities. Confidence recognizes the hollowness of premature judgments of “I can’t”. I remember when Amanda was growing up, and she’d say, “I can’t”. I’d reply, “How do you know?” Confidence looks around for whatever small step would be continued progress. It says, “Can’t never could.” Then, it turns, “I think I can” into “I am doing it.” And it does this joyfully, for the simple love of what is being accomplished. It’s what I told myself so often in the early years of writing “The Book”. I am doing it. I am doing it!! Confidence does not get caught in judgments about right or wrong. It sees through the trap in this black or white thinking. Confidence simply keeps its eye on the prize. If this action didn’t get me where I wanted to be, my confidence stands ready to make whatever adjustment is helpful. Confidence allows space for Humility or Admiration, without losing any of its determination to continue making progress. It’s not about right or wrong. It is about continued progress. I am on the way. I am doing it. Confidence does not rely on competition to believe in itself. It doesn’t need to be better than anyone to prove itself. It doesn’t get diminished by meeting someone more skilled. Confidence is not dependent on showing off. It doesn’t require adulation from others. It is not crushed by criticism. Confidence is not addicted to success. It does not demand quick, all or none solutions. It doesn’t need immediate gratification. Confidence grows as it looks for ever more complex and meaningful challenges. It appreciates that so much of what really matters requires investment over the long haul. Confidence is willing to do whatever it takes to actualize something really worthwhile. Whenever I am truly confident, I realize that I am simply revealing myself. My intentions are clear to me. As I act on them, I say who I am. This means I can let go of the results. Not that the consequences don’t matter. It’s just that they are simply feedback about how clearly I am making myself known. If the feedback tells me I haven’t yet made myself clear, my confidence welcomes the information. I am happy to learn more about myself, and to make adjustments that say more clearly who I am. When I’m confident, I relish the process of self-definition. I’m not looking for one success-or-failure-defining-moment. I don’t have to be a finished product. I enjoy discovering myself. The more I learn, the clearer I get about who I am, the clearer I am about what I really want to do. I keep getting better at simply confiding myself. Whatever happens, this is me. When I am truly confident, I am simply being true to myself. I am confiding in you.