The Naked Truth of Unexplained Infertility

Your subconscious mind holds the memory of all your experiences, the “good” ones and the “bad” ones. All of them create assumptions and beliefs that impact your physical body. And traumatic experiences can create beliefs that “protect” your body from becoming pregnant because your body goes into “fight-or-flight” mode. Maybe it was experiencing an abortion, miscarriage, rape, childhood trauma, or fear of motherhood. Or concerns about combining motherhood and career, losing personal time, or dying in childbirth. Each fear is personal and real to the woman experiencing it. Such fears create beliefs that lurk deep in your subconscious mind. This is a problem. If you believe your fears without releasing them—or never look into the actual reasons you can’t conceive—then you’ll stay stuck, blocking you from getting pregnant. If you’re like a lot of women, you perhaps think you can solve all this on your own. Or you are already suffering alone—and greatly. I say this with great respect: you may be getting advanced medical help, eating the right foods, and pursuing other strategies to get pregnant—but you have not yet worked on your subconscious mind and emotional body. If there is an underlying emotional issue, all the IVFs in the world will not get you pregnant. It will not bypass your emotional blocks. In this first chapter, we begin with stories of women who faced anxieties and fears that may be familiar to you. I want to give you hope that their stories can be your story—that no matter how you feel right now, there may very well be a path to your baby that is currently blocked by hidden fears, trauma, and emotional obstacles. Heather: “I need a donor egg.” “I’m forty-three,” Heather said. “The doctors told me I’m too old and I need a donor egg because I’m over forty-two. I had my first child five years ago. I really want another baby. But everyone tells me my age is a problem.” “If you’re healthy and menstruating, you have a chance to conceive, provided we find out what’s blocking you. Even though I fully respect your doctor’s opinion, I have seen many women get pregnant who were told to get a donor egg.” “I don’t want a donor egg.” “There is nothing wrong about choosing a donor egg. But I want you to feel free about the choice you make.” The real issue was that Heather secretly believed the doctors. We needed to eliminate her fears and beliefs that she was too old and that “only a donor egg” could give her a baby. In our sessions, we released Heather’s deep-rooted fears and created new belief statements that reinforced that she was the perfect age, and in the perfect circumstances, to conceive. Beliefs like this pave the way to conception. “I have a hard time believing these statements,” Heather said a few weeks later. “They feel very unnatural.” I was familiar with this reaction. “It’s normal that they feel unnatural to you right now,” I said. “Just keep going with them because, at some point, you’re going to start to resonate with them.” In our next few sessions, Heather began to open up about the idea of a donor egg. However, she wanted to try the natural way for a couple more months—which is all it took to become pregnant naturally with her second baby. Yes, You Can Birth a Healthy Baby in Your Forties At some point, we need to take a different look at “the age perspective.” Of course, age plays a role, but if you are physically and hormonally healthy and you still ovulate, there is a chance. My business is successful because I work with women in their forties—and many of them get pregnant. Do you tell yourself “I’m too old” or “My eggs are too old”? If so, then you are programming yourself and, at some point, your body starts to believe it. One of my clients was thirty-three and believed she was too old to conceive. She really thought she was too old. Her fears were no different than those of women in their forties. Of course, it’s true that age can be a problem. The quality of our eggs do decline as we age. But in the last two decades, I have seen many women in their forties birth healthy babies. All you need is one good egg. It’s not a fairy tale that mind-body work increases your chances of conception. Every December, my mantelpiece is filled with Christmas cards from new moms. Most of these new moms are forty-plus. Your dream is real.