Journaling by the Moonlight

Chapter Four The New Moon Phase: The Beginning of a Quest for Creative Self-Discovery "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross In This Chapter: Core Question: What gifts are found in moments of uncertainty? Primary Lesson: Seeing Darkness in a Whole New Light Lunar Power: Honoring New Beginnings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sitting up in bed on a chilly autumn morning, I reach for my journal on the night table to record another dream with a similar theme. I note that the details were different, but the feeling was the same. I just couldn't get "there" – wherever I was going, the path just continued, and it was difficult to see if was on the right track. There was a deep inner yearning to get somewhere, and it felt like I just wasn't going to arrive. I kept moving forward in the dream, one foot in front of the other, twisting and turning, but with no destination in sight. These dreams were consistent – and seemed to match the uncertainty I was feeling in my life at the time. I had reached a point where I was beginning to question, "Is this it? Am I ever going to arrive?" It reminded me of another period of darkness, the one I had gone through 20 years earlier when several life transitions were hitting me at once – and I didn't feel in control of any of them. I just kept moving forward, not sure where I was going. I felt totally lost at that point in my life – and yet in this moment, I just wondered if there really was a "there" there. Sometimes I would wake up from these dreams in the middle of the night – and catch a glimpse of the moon out of my bedroom window. It felt comforting to see her – and I remember thinking that the light was there. On a dark night of uncertainty, the light was still there – and it was her light that reminded me that the light was also still within me. Seeing Darkness in a Whole New Light Imagine sitting in a dark room and not having a sense of where you are or what's within your reach. You have no idea where the light switch is – or if a light even exists in the room. It can feel unsettling at first, perhaps a little scary because it's unfamiliar. Not being able to see where you are or where you're going can be alarming. As human beings, we have been taught to set clear goals and to take action toward reaching those goals. But what happens if we just don't have clarity on what the goals should be? This is at the essence of the new moon phase, a time of darkness in the lunar cycle. While we can't see the moon in the night sky with our naked eye, we know she's there – she's always there. And with the help of a telescope and a celestial map, we can scan the dark sky, positioning our instrument at just the right point to zoom in and see the definition of the dark moon. The outline is present – and with time and effort, light will gradually fill that space. It takes curiosity and desire to stay focused on the light that will eventually fill a dark space. We don't need to know how the light will show up, we just need to trust that it will – and in the right way at the right time. It takes faith and a willingness to see darkness in a whole new light. As poet Mary Oliver once wrote, "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." What Are the Gifts in Darkness? The darkness of the moon brings an opportunity to reflect on your life's journey by taking a closer look at who you are – underneath the layers of life. It's a time to turn within and write about your inner thoughts and feelings. It can bring to your awareness the potential that darkness has in shedding light on life's lessons and the many gifts that would otherwise go unnoticed. It is a time to ponder where you've been, how you arrived at the place you are now, and where to go from here. It's an opportunity to explore new ways of thinking and to prepare for a new path of travel. It also marks an ideal time to go beneath the layers of who you are on the outside, connecting deeply with those parts of yourself that aren't as visible to the outside world. The energies of the dark moon can feel especially potent. That's because they are. They represent the unknown and can send a magnetic pull to lure your willingness and your desire to find out – "What is the gift in this darkness that is waiting to be discovered by me?" The first step toward this phase of new beginnings is the realization that there is a gift in everything if you choose to see it. It's a perfect opportunity to make a new discovery about yourself as you contemplate the next creative evolution of you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moonlight Musing Breathing in the wisdom of the new moon phase, allow yourself to reflect on a difficult time in your life – one that brought a myriad of challenges and a lot of growing pains. From this current point in time, looking back on this period, what do you think the gifts were? What did you learn from this experience - and how did it help you grow and expand into the person you are today? Take some time to write about this experience through the eyes of a much wiser self. ~~~~~~~~~