Who Held the Door Open?
Mentoring Through Life’s Challenges
by
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Has there ever been a time in your life when nothing seemed right? Maybe your family life was in disarray, your job was too overwhelming, a loved one was dying and you knew your life would never be the same? Many years ago, this was the state in which I found my life. As I was asking, How could this be happening to me?, I remember telling God that this wasn’t the story of my life; this wasn’t the way my life was supposed to be written. Well, if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans. We all go through rough times in life, and we all find our own ways of coping so that we can grow stronger. One of my strategies was, before falling asleep, I would recall all the good things that happened to me that day. There were nights during that time when I really had to think hard to find some of these positive moments. In fact, on one particular night, when I was struggling to remember something positive, I could think of only one thing: someone held a door open for me that day! That was it—such a common occurrence in daily life as we all try to be polite people. However, on this day, it was more than a kind gesture for me. It was the tipping point for me to start pulling my life together. I realized I was at rock bottom. Simultaneously, I’d been serving for many years prior as a mentor to young women and men who were just starting their careers. I wondered how I was able to be a mentor even when my own life was falling apart. I thought about it all intensely. Isn’t that what I was doing for my mentees, holding the door open? To me, mentoring isn’t about telling people how to live their life. It is about being a guide to have them examine various options they have and make choices that are right for them. Mentoring is the act of holding the door open. Because of the person who held the door open for me that day, I could continue helping others for the rest of my life. This book is based on mentor-mentee relationships. You will see that for each of these relationships, there is a different model. All involve two people who are willing to share with each other for the specific purpose of growth. In the beginning, a bond must be formed so that each person involved can determine what they can give and what they can gain. Some of these partnerships last for many years, some last for a while and renew after a break, and others last only to solve a need. Upon entering this type of relationship, whether you are looking for a mentor or you are a mentor, I want to share with you some of the insights I have discovered.
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About the Book
This book is titled Who Held the Door Open?, which comes from one of the stories used very often in Raejean’s mentoring. One day, the only good thing she could remember was that someone literally held a physical door open for her. That act changed her whole outlook on what was happening and had an influence on her future course of action. As her mentees know, that story will always be her way of asking them to look for the good in their lives, no matter how small, and appreciate the people who have held the door open in their lives. Raejean has mentored over fifty people in her lifetime. She continues to mentor many more to this day. The following true stories are from four of her mentees. Each of them wrote their own story, in their own words, and in their own style of writing. As you go from chapter to chapter, you will notice how they each have their own way of presenting the unique person they are. Here, they share with you how they have overcome challenging times with the help of a mentor.
About the Author
In Who Held the Door Open?, Raejean Kanter shares her love of mentoring and storytelling. For most of her lifetime she has been listening to people who were searching for answers. With her unique strategy of reflective listening and storytelling, she enables others to find the answers they are seeking within themselves. Her mission in this book is to share her many years of experiences and show how mentoring can make a positive change in people’s lives. Born and raised in Wisconsin, Ms. Kanter has a Bachelor of Business Administration from St. Norbert College and a Masters of Education from Cardinal Stritch University. Her professional career includes work in youth ministry, adolescent pregnancy and pregnancy prevention, non-profit agency administration, charitable foundation management and public relations. In addition, she has written five children’s books under the name of Grandma Book’s World. The mission of this series is to help young children learn about other cultures and foster a greater understanding of inclusion. Early in her career she co-authored Understanding Sex and Sexuality, a book about human growth and development for middle school students. When she isn’t busy with her work endeavors, she enjoys traveling and she greatly values time spent with her family. After being a widow for seventeen years, she married again in 2021. Together, she and her husband have traveled the world and she has visited over fifty countries. She has two adult children and six grandchildren who are at the center of her heart. With her recent marriage, she added two stepsons and two more grandchildren.