Have you ever felt like you've had so much going on in your life that your mind will not stop continuously thinking? It's all in a muddle, you become overwhelmed and the main focus is on all the stuff. This is what we call the Monkey Mind, it is like a monkey continuously jumping from branch to branch over and over just like they look like in the in the jungle.
This monkey is responsible for you making decisions that keep you stuck and not moving forward in life. It keeps you believing you cannot achieve the things you are passionate about, it stops you right in your tracks from making positive life changing decisions. It limits the value of your life. You want more and deep down you know it but will not pursue it because of the monkey that keeps going around in your head.
If you could let that monkey go your life will change and more opportunities will appear. The opportunities are already there but you cannot see them. Does this sound like you?
Would you like to learn how to shut down your mind before the overwhelm sets in? I'm proof that you can do this. And with a lifestyle change and practice, this can be done. In this chapter I am going to explain why the monkey mind takes over and share an easy and quick strategy to shut off that chatter.
I was once, what I would have called, a very anxious person and not very confident. I feel that this has a lot to do with my ego. What I mean by ego is the part of me (and the whole human race for that matter) that worries about the way we do things.
The basis of the ego is fear:
· Am I doing my job right?
· I will be judged by others because I am not competent
· Do I look good? (this one is very superficial)
· If I don’t exercise, I won’t be as fit as others and I won't keep up
· If I speak my mind I won’t be liked
· If I speak my mind, I might cause conflict
· I am not smart enough
· I had better go along because I was invited, but I would rather stay at home, I might not get invited again
· I haven’t got time; I will be frowned upon for being late
· I am lazy if I decide to stay home and relax on the couch
· I am boring
· I am not confident to talk to people
· I don't fit in
· I don't want to rock the boat
· This is how it should be done
· This is the religion I have to believe in
· This is how everyone brings up their kids
These are all examples of thoughts running through our mind. They all involve how we think we should behave in society to please others. These fears are learnt starting from a very young age, it is not the authentic self that you were when you were born, you weren't worried about how you should act when you were born, you just ‘were’ and everything you believe now, started from that point onwards.
The authentic self is when we follow our own direction and not others in life, when we have no judgement of others or self.
In this anxious stage of my life, I was unaware of self-empowerment, self-soothing, self-healing techniques. I relied on the environment around me to provide me with happiness. When I discovered self-help techniques, I became aware of my monkey mind chatter and the limiting beliefs that were holding me back from my emotional expansion and happiness. I realised I have the ability to let the monkey go when it comes up, and I know you have the ability to do this too.
Do you find you do and say things that are really not in alignment with what you would rather, and you have this consistent chitter-chatter going on in your mind, sifting through these thoughts. Sometimes (or a lot of the time for some) you worry about what other people might think or say about you. The truth is people are always going to think and say things about other people, and it is tiring to try and live up to other people’s expectations.
We can only assume what others might be thinking and saying so we usually worry about things we think about.
Could you imagine counting all of the people you communicate with on a regular basis, then trying to guess what they all want from you, coming from their individual wants and needs? It is impossible to keep up with that, and uses up your energy in a way that does not serve you.
It would be more productive to your day/life to be done with being a pleaser of others and to be a pleaser of yourself, it is a form of self-care.
I am kinder to myself in many ways now, my monkey mind was constantly reminding me of all the terrible consequences of following my heart and being unique; What would people think? I need to act this way or that. What is going to happen to me in the future? Will I get in trouble from my boss? Will someone be unhappy with me? I don't look good enough and I want to look more like…. someone else. Why is my life like this? Why do bad things happen to me?