May I ask everyone present here: “Which kind of emotions you experience more in your life, negative or positive?” (Audience replied: “More negative emotions.”) I would say that you actually have more positive emotions! Otherwise, there is no way you could reach this point and march towards the end of your life.
All of you, in this very life, have experienced sorrow, happiness, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, and all sorts of feelings, but have you asked yourself: “Why am I always falling into a negative emotional state?” Have you ever reflected on such a question? This is a critical but basic question of life. Let’s think about it, isn't it strange that one cannot control the quality of one’s emotion? In other words, if we cannot, on our own, manage and change our minds, we will be constrained and subject to the external circumstances of people, material objects and events. Isn’t this kind of life worrisome?
From here, two questions arise regarding why we are in a worrisome state:
Why are we always influenced by circumstances and why do we subsequently fall into negative emotional states? Why is the quality of our life always affected by external factors such as people, material objects and events? In the Buddhadharma, this is called turning with the changing circumstances. One does not have the power to control one’s own mind and cannot face the circumstances with a clear mind and wisdom.
Can life be autonomous and not affected by external circumstances? Under various circumstances, through our inner power, can we become more autonomy and more independent rather than being manipulated by the changing of circumstances? Can we be independent and apply our wisdom to face different circumstances without being dragged along by them? How does such wisdom arise?
Now let’s think about this question: with all life experiences we gained up to date, are our lives involuntarily following the stream of cycles of reincarnation that driven by personal karmic conditional forces – – each cycle unfolds as birth, aging, illness, and death, when:
- Facing with undesirable encounters (events causing resentment and hatred to arise), one will feel sorrowful and stressful, sad, moody and tensed up;
- Facing with separation from loved ones (death or parting of person you like or love), your heart breaks;
- When circumstances do not meet your expectations (you could not get what you want), you are agonized and you feel your heart is torn apart.
Haven’t we all had experienced and gone through above circumstances in our life?
Let’s take a look at our “birth” – – isn’t it out of our control? For example, we may have heard of such an argument when one quarrels with one’s parents: “It is you who gave birth to me, and it has nothing to do with me. I did not want to come to this world, but it was you who brought me here.” Is that right? Therefore, as far as we are concerned, “birth” or to be born is out of our control. Similarly, “aging, illness, and death” are also out of our control, but everyone has to experience this process and bear with it. When we confront with the life situations, such as “undesirable encounters,” “separation from loved ones,” and “not getting what we want”, are we being dragged along by the circumstance to become emotional, turmoiled and uneasy?
The 29 years old Prince Siddhartha was facing such a question: “What is the significance of life? If we have no control and are just being manipulated by the karmic force and constantly living through reincarnation – – then what is the significance of such a life? Does one have any control over one’s life? If there is none and life can only continue in samsara helplessly, then what is the point of living a life? However, if there is a way, then one should be able to further search for it, and if so, whether there is a method of cultivation to reach a life with self-control and to be liberated from karmic bondage and further being liberated from the cycle of reincarnation. This is the essence of his question.
When we are dealing with all kinds of life situations, can we maintain a clear awareness and develop a certain kind of mental quality, so that our inner stillness will not be waved by the changing circumstances? If we cannot, then we will be dragged along by situations, and at the same time, we would desperately want to control and manage the situations. However, life situations are not hundred percent determined by our wills; as such, we become unease (in force), restless, and anxious.
For example, you wish your beloved partner do something or you insist that your children must obey you, but it turns out that their behavior may not satisfy you. It is not because they do not want to please you, instead, probably because they lack the ability or their life situations at that very moment do not support them to meet your expectations. There are two issues here: one is that, you wish others to satisfy you, and the other is that others could not do what you want them to do. It is just as it would be impossible when you try to make a happy face while you actually are not happy, suffering or upset. The reality is that, sometimes, you cannot force yourself to be kind to others because your life could not express positive energy at that time.