Sisters from Different Misters

On one level the story is about the life of two men, how they met their wives, and how their lives intertwined. On another level it is about long term relationships, support, and the important things in life. On yet another level the story is told from the perspective of the widows supporting each other after losing their husbands. The widows support for each other enabled sharing the joy and sadness of their life-long experiences in terms of their grief and gratitude. The memories and wisdom of a life well lived.shared in this story can only come in retrospect. This is a story of family, friendship, values, and immigrant beginnings. It is a story about the impact of living life with an understanding that Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, and the Present is a gift. This may become clear with the loss of a loved one and the pain of dealing with the loss . Grieving reflects the relationship with that loved one. Perhaps we grieve with sorrow, anger, gratitude or some mixture of emotions. Perhaps we think about grief is the way K.Heittzmann presents it in her book Unforgotten”Grief is a coat you put on and off wearing it only until it has warmed the chill of loss, but not so long as to take the edge from memory." Christ had a phenomenal ability to start each day as a new day. As if he knew that every day we do things a little bit differently than we did the day before. In essence, he was creating a new day every day even if we were, in fact, doing the same things. He seemed to know intuitively that our ability to adapt and flow with the process of life is actually a power within us. A power available to us even when we do not consciously know how to access it. It is a power to adapt and flow with the process of life. If we can access the power it keeps stress in a productive mode that enables us to love ourselves. Loving ourselves becomes the basis of our ability to love others. This is the power that enables us to establish relationships based upon worth and value. Relation-ships that will last and surround us in positive vibrations all of our lives. He knew this intuitively and I was blessed that he was able to teach me this lesson over and over again. When I met him I did not know how to access this power, but blessed with a lifetime together I learned that the power was within me. I was an individual who seemed more comfortable thinking than feeling. It could be said I “lived in my head”. I would allow the challenges in my life to stir up thoughts of guilt, fear, criticism, and resentment. I learned that these feelings were due to thoughts focused in the past or future rather than allowing feelings to be in the present moment, I didn’t realize the extent of Christ’s lessons at the time. Now he is gone and I am a widow and alone but with thoughts and feelings clamoring to be put into words. Now I understand the words of Soren Kierkegaard, a 19th century Danish philosopher, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”. Now when anxiety and fear prevent me from being able to adapt and flow with the process of life, I stop, try to feel Christ’s presence, and listen to hear his voice. I may shed a tear, and thank him quietly for having been in my life. It is times like this that Christ not being here is a sadness that overtakes me, but simultaneously I feel glad and grateful that he was in my life. I could not describe this mixed emotion for a long time until I discovered words for this feeling. “Happy Sorrow “ a sense that the moment doesn’t have to be sad , it just has to be different. I have learned how to grieve in a way to live in the present moment and still respect the past and future. At these times I open my very old copy of The Prophet with the inscription that Christ wrote to the woman that he would meet and spend his life with long before he met me. The inscription reads,”Dearest In this world where the material things are perhaps more temporal than we suspect, here is something that will last. With my love Christ”. My granddaughter Taylor once said “When you find someone who can make you laugh. Smile. Grow. Lust. Want. Crave. Feel. Make you mad but happy. Keep that. That's euphoria.” And I have found in the Circle of Life the spirit of a person you love who has loved you is a legacy that does not disappear.