Death to Life

In the introduction and acknowledgement of Wendy Adams’ Death to Life: Memoirs of Wendy Adams, the author insists that she was only a vessel for the word of the Holy Spirit in the writing of the book. Adams states that the true message of the book is not really a story of her life, but is instead a heavenly message that can be found within the pages. The first part of Adams’ memoir focuses on her very earliest family memories of the author. The reading depicts a normal, idyllic childhood in many ways, except for the rages of the father. The patriarch frequently goes on drinking binges and begins treating his daughter inappropriately, kissing and touching her. As his drinking consumes him, he becomes violent and the happy family dynamic is forever shattered.

Soon, Adams moves in with her grandmother. Adams life, however, does not improve. She develops peritonitis, a condition that will cause her much pain and grief throughout her life. When her parents have a more stable home environment, Adams reluctantly leaves her grandmother and the peace and safety she felt. As expected, her father is increasingly violent once again and the family dynamic starts to spiral out of control. School is no better for the young girl. Adams is constantly put down and starts to feel paranoid about the advances of others, whether boys or men. She is sure that each encounter with a stranger is a prelude to sexual assault and molestation. Soon, she drops out of school to work in a factory and begins to worry constantly about other intentions, thinking every encounter with a male will lead to kidnap and rape.

Marriage and having a baby does improve Adams’ life temporarily. Her daily routine is more stable and she can find distance from her dysfunctional family. However, after discovering her husband is having an affair, Adams becomes very depressed and destructive. Seeking professional help offers no relief as she feels the male doctors only respond with sexual advances. Adams’ life is a painful and heartbreaking read. The stories turn from depressing to brutal, with tales of animal and child neglect due to bad judgement. Even after leaving her marriage, Adams struggles with feelings of hopelessness, paranoia, and depression. As Adams grows into a more mature woman, she uses the lessons from her early life and becomes a strong, willful fighter. While she doesn’t let other people take advantage of her, she also keeps most people at a safe distance and lives a life of loneliness and sadness. Suddenly, all that changes when Adams attends a church service and a visiting minister lays hands on Adams. It was as if a light bulb turned on in her mind and her life instantly changes. As a result, Adams throws away her old life and bitter spirit and seeks a new life working for and living for Christ. She knows immediately a life in Christ is the life she was truly meant to lead.

Overall, Death to Life a tough read. Adams’ descriptions are both heartbreaking and shocking and many are hard to get through. The lack of transitions in the book also makes for an often confusing and startling lead. However, plowing through Adams’ early life is worth it after the reader sees what awaits at the end. Those seeking a truly inspirational story of surviving tough times will find a hero in Adams and will understand Christ’s message throughout the story.

- Pacific Book Review

Before beginning to pen this memoir, author Wendy Adams acknowledged that she didn’t know anything about writing a book. So, what did she do? She asked her friends and family to help her figure out what she needed to know. She also joined a writers’ group for help with grammar and punctuation. That’s the type of person she is. Someone who does not let adversity, lack of understanding or education stand in her way of accomplishing what she sets out to achieve.

That determination was forged in her childhood in Australia’s Blue Mountains. It was a childhood dominated by her father’s violent outbursts. Suffering through the abuse in her home tainted how she went through the day, making her angry, overbearing and pugnacious in her dealings with others. However, her hard-scrabble childhood, while traumatic, propelled her up-and-out of the systemic abusive situation at home.

Life was not easy on her own, though. Health problems, which she suffered through as a child, followed her into adulthood. A difficult marriage, a steady string of imperfect jobs, divorce, troublesome relationships and the challenge of feeling that every step forward took her two-steps backwards brought her to the brink of despair many times.

Until an epiphany at 45 years old when a Christian minister placed his hands on her. She was changed by the Lord, infused by His spirit in that moment. Her acceptance of the Lord had profound results in her life. Her commitment to following His word transformed her, releasing her from the angry, vengeful, aggressive behaviors that were so much a part of her lifelong armor and allowing her to open herself to compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. She writes, “He showed me that forgiveness for these people was for me because it was a burden that had to be removed. I could be set free, and if I didn’t forgive them, then he couldn’t forgive me. This was love.”

As the strength of her faith unfolds, she realizes that the Lord had been with her through all of her trials, she just hadn’t recognized His presence. Adams recounts, “I annoyed a few people until I learned to calm down so that they would stop thinking I was nuts. I didn’t want to scare them away, but I wanted to help them understand and come to salvation. The Lord showed me that he had always been with me, holding me up for this moment of salvation. I realized that it was not because I was tough that the enemy didn’t destroy me, but because the Lord allowed my toughness to work so I would continue to fight.” With this revelation came gratitude and a fierce devotion to spread His word so others would know that they “have someone to refer to when times are hard, to leave the problems with and take over.”

This memoir is both testimony of one woman’s liberation through the Lord and a call to all who read it to trust that, even in life’s darkest moments, God is present. Ms. Adams’ impassioned narrative is a testament to her unwavering faith and a reminder to those who read it that hope raises is the way out of despair.

- Hollywood Book Review