Live Your Sunshine

my aim for you I want you to feel better. I want everybody to feel better. I want the world to feel better. I feel sad at the thought of so many people feeling so demoralised and defeated, guilty, full of worry and woe; so nervous, down on and out of love with themselves, feeling that they need to ‘keep up’ in one way or another and focused on all that is bleak. I want us all to sing our songs, to notice the wonder around us and to start to feel amazing. We spend our lives focussing on and allowing ourselves to be affected by many things we can’t change. We can’t change the weather, we can’t change the wars (at least not single-handedly), we can’t change the news, we can’t change the football score, we can’t change the hunger, we can’t change what others do, think or say – these are all external factors that just are. But we can start looking inside at our reactions to all of these things. Is it really healthy, worthwhile or useful to spend so much energy on external things we can’t do a thing about? That doesn’t mean don’t be empathic, generous, loving and giving to charities and others – indeed, genuine giving (and not just of money but of you), caring and compassion is what eventually will change the world – but it does mean that there’s no point living these external factors as if they’re yours to own or change. Better you focus on doing things to make yourself feel better because then you’ll start to make others feel better, and maybe one day the domino effect that’s just getting started will capture the whole world in its loving embrace. By starting to look inside, your outlook, approach and attitude will change, and when you feel better you start to make others feel better. That is the only way we can hope to have an impact on any of these conditions and events. So, with that in mind, I’m here to play my own little part in serving our world. Rather than focusing on conditions and events I can’t change, I’m focusing on you, because I know I can help you. I know I can offer you hope, guidance, encouragement and choices you’d forgotten were yours to make. I want us all to reach out to the sky and know we can! My aim for you is that you start to feel better and start to live your life for you. You can do this by: • Addressing the imbalance you’ve got going on in your life • Changing from predominantly thinking to predominantly feeling; from predominantly negative, cynical, angry, anxious, worrying to predominantly positive, optimistic, loving, creative, accepting • Starting to become more conscious of when you’re feeling bad or thinking negatively so you can consider the message and do something about it • Stopping reacting and starting to take control over what you’re doing, thinking, saying and feeling and how you’re behaving • Proactively intending the way you want your day to be and feel • Trying things that could ultimately have a life-changing effect on how you feel • Becoming your own leader • Opening your ears and your heart • Reclaiming your life, your decisions, your actions, your focus and getting to the root of who you really are • Starting to listen to you; stopping letting your ego, fears, friends, family, society, the media and excuses run your life • Starting to take responsibility – owning your life and everything that’s in it • Doing things that will help you feel far healthier and much more energised Life really isn’t about winning or losing. We spend too much time comparing ourselves and thinking we need to keep up with something or somebody, or both. Life is about having fun, being part of an adventure and we’ve forgotten how to enjoy that adventure as our blinkers have blocked our view.  TAKE BACK CONTROL – DO IT FOR YOU feel – that’s you talking Everything you need to be able to find good feelings is already inside you. But to begin with, tread cautiously and patiently. Your ego has been running the show, leading the way, since you were a toddler. It’s how we’re brought up in western society: that everything external matters, including the way we look, and to stop listening inside. Our ego guides us to conform to what society expects of us, or what it has been accustomed to believe society expects of us. We’ve been conditioned to live by our ego since we were pre-school age and had to start growing up and ‘fitting in’. The ego is the part of us that kicks in to stop us doing or saying things that our true self wants us to do or say. I wouldn’t be publishing this book if I listened to my ego. Our souls, our true selves, were crushed as rules, regulations, expectations, comparisons and doubt took hold and we were slotted into conformity. But they weren’t destroyed. You are strong. Your little light still shines and you can be yourself. You’re a bright shining being and you’re about to start giving more oxygen to that light. And with every small step forward, that light will emerge more and more and you will notice your confidence, strength and belief in yourself start to flourish. The main way to feed your light is to feel your way forward. Feelings are you talking to you, guiding you, helping you make decisions that are right for you. Only after you’ve started to become conscious of your feelings can you start to determine whether they feel good, bad or somewhere in between, what they’re related to or why they’re occurring, and then start to change them if they need changing. As we progress through the book we’ll look at how you determine whether a feeling is coming from you – from within – or whether it’s a feeling being generated as a result of you listening to your ego. An easy and very basic way to start thinking about it is if it’s a good feeling it’s you; if it’s not a good feeling, it’s usually something that’s coming from your head. Those are the ones we’re going to call messages. We’re not going to discount your ego altogether. We grow the most from our most challenging, often our most negative experiences, so your ego does have an important part to play as a messenger. We’re going to pay attention to the feelings that are coming from what’s going on in your head, and we’re going to take steps to address those feelings so that they either disappear or become good feelings. You’re in control and you choose how much air space the messages from your ego messenger may be granted and how you deal with those messages. What I propose you will find by the end of working your way through this book is that you have changed inwardly. You will look the same, but better. Inwardly you will feel like a new person and you will be wanting to know what’s next for you on your adventure. My hope is that you will describe the transforming you in the following ways: • I feel less tense. • I feel softer. • I care much less about my outward appearance and the opinions of others. • I am singing inside! • I experience much more joy from what’s around me. • I no longer feel stagnant, flat or numb inside or like someone’s dropped rocks in my stomach. • I feel more alive, less stressed, more accepting and less bothered by people and things that irk my day – or used to irk my day ... • I believe in myself. • I feel in control, responsible, accountable and empowered. • I know I am worthy. • I choose to pursue good feelings and sunshine, and I embrace the messages being delivered through my fear. • I want to keep learning, absorbing and feeling around for more. • I know what to do to find all of the above when I’m having a bad day. I am patient and know that it takes time.  DO IT FOR YOURSELF – YOU DESERVE IT