Introduction
From the beginning Ken’s letters had a fatherly flavor. He was friendly, patient, and playful. It was easy to forget who I was writing to because he wrote into my prompts. Ken was the father every girl wished for. You knew he was erudite and the intellectual, yet he never tried to overwhelm me. I called him affectionate names and he laughed and addressed himself accordingly. Sometimes, at the beginning I wondered why he bothered to respond, and each time I posted a letter I told myself that was the last I would hear from him!
There were moments when I wondered why I even wrote to him, what was the point? Especially, since my life was in the tank and it would be easy to become attached to his gentle support. As a mature female I was not likely to pursue a romp with someone already attached, for any reason. Yet, I never discouraged him from writing the letters, either. It is fair to say, in my state of mind I did not have the energy to challenge him – just keeping ahead of my situation was enough.
I did tell Ken not to pay any attention to me if I referred to him with affection because I realize I could never go through what would happen if our friendship ever changed. I know! This is pretty cheeky of me considering who I was talking to! Also, I told him I did not know what it felt like to be loved – and having a good friend was more than enough. Plus, I liked the fact he was smarter, and way ahead of me in every way.
It was the ultimate friendship. How much trouble could one get into on paper? If I did not like what he said I did not have to write, and visa versa! Once, after Christmas when his letter did not arrive, I sent a full page and all it said was – Your turn to write! He responded he had written and enclosed a copy of his letter that had become lost in the mail. Another time I did not write because I was sick (another story) he wrote I had trained him so well he was not going to become upset – but, what happened to his letter?
Fortunately, soon after our letters began Ken appeared to me on the Holy-Moly, (ottoman). This changed my focus completely! If he had not confirmed it I would have thought I was dreaming: in fact, when he acknowledged it in his next letter I still thought I was dreaming. After all, we have at least heard of movies where someone appears in your dreams – It was reasonable to accept Ken could appear in spirit, but who knew I could also?
Each visit was like a gift – the scene was always beautiful – yet ethereal, and abstract. We exchanged thoughts and when he faded out he left behind unconditional love. How is this possible? What I am saying is you cannot make this up, especially when he thanks me for joining with him in his following letter. After Ken passed I discovered this comment in the ACIM text “When spirit’s original state of direct communication is reached, neither the body, not the miracle serves any purpose,” (T-1, V-1:2). That is exactly the way it was for us.
I am eternally grateful for his loving support on my journey and believe this is a perfect example of collapsing time. My time. My time to fumble around attempting to find myself has been reduced and now I have a purpose. To share our story may have been the purpose from the start.
If communicating in spirit is available to me – it is also available to everyone! This is a profound message in our story. Although ACIM became available in 1976/77, I did not become involved until 2003: thus, it is possible there are others who may have communicated in spirit with Ken. If so, it would be wonderful to connect, and what an exciting family of students that would be!
In the end, this is not a story about letters from Kenneth Wapnick Ph.D. This is my story about how letters from Ken provided the love missing from my life as a foster child. How he supported me even when I should have been kicked-to-the-curb for my goofy letters: Loved me until I could accept perfect love as referred to in the Course, and left behind confirmations so I would not be run out of town when I told our story.
The steps leading to today were consistently leading me in the same direction:
After I was fired for taking my screenplay to a studio on my day off I spent months exploring multiple Religious philosophies, 2) which led to A Course in Miracles (ACIM), 3) Shortly, the facilitator moved and left me in charge, 4) The only thing constant after the accident was my position as facilitator for ACIM, 5) as facilitator a connection opened to the ACIM Foundation, thus my question for Ken, 6) Ken simply did what he was sent here to do: “Teach only love for that is what you are,” (T- 6, I -13:2).
He taught me to trust - I gave him my heart – he filled it with Love – and returned it to me –
as a Gift from Above…