My Intuition Led Me to Love

Affirmation: “I am wise and lovable. I create beautiful memories.”   My first love Growing up, my brother jokingly nicknamed me ‘Hippie’ and said that I should go and live in a caravan and smoke dope, as that would suit me perfectly. Apparently, to him, since I meditated so much and was a very spiritual girl, I might as well go live a hippie lifestyle. Years ago in her own little village in Italy, my great-grandmother did the same kind of work as I do now and is often around me in spirit. My deceased grandfather, who I absolutely loved and adored, was not very surprised when I told him that I was working as a psychic. He told me that his own mother had many women come to see her for help, and she was known for her tremendous accuracy. Commonly psychic gifts can be passed on from generation to generation; however, I was still surprised by this information, as I had absolutely no idea that someone else in the family had the abilities I’d discovered in myself while growing up. Of course, my great-grandmother had passed on years before, but it would have been comforting to know as a teenager with special abilities that there had been others like me in the family. In my teenage years, I never really related to the average girl, as I was introverted and always felt so different. Of course, I didn’t understand the psychic abilities I had at that time, and the visions I was having not only confused me but also scared me. Since no one in my life understood why I was experiencing these visions, I thought there was something very wrong with me. * * * At around the age of nineteen, my dates used to come and pick me up at my parents’ house and then take me to dinner or the movies. I was young, vibrant and filled with unrealistic romantic ideas and beliefs. I was, in other words, very naïve and living in a complete fantasy world. I had no idea that most of my dates were going to spin any lie they could, just to get into my pants. I was completely blind to the fact that most young men did not want to have a serious relationship with a female, they just wanted sex. I would often get hurt and confused about why a certain young man would not call me after the first couple of dates. I didn’t realize that if I didn’t do the ‘deed’ with them, they would simply vanish into thin air, never to be seen again. When we are younger, it isn’t easy to listen to our intuition, because we have less life experience. In my case, I did not wish to listen to it, as I basically didn’t care. My self-esteem was very low, and as I had little respect for myself, it was easy for many men to treat me unkindly. My confidence was at rock bottom and I was not able to defend myself or stand up for my divine rights. Basically, men walked all over me. * * * Four of my friends and I used to enjoy going to nightclubs. We were all studying and we wanted to let our hair down. With much excitement, we’d head to the city and party into the early hours of the morning. I would always sense the energy very strongly in these clubs, and as I was still young, I was unable to understand why I would become drained and sometimes unwell the next day. I was extremely against the idea of taking drugs and I was also unaware of the many young people who were taking them in these bars. I had never even experienced the sensation of marijuana, speed or ecstasy, and I never wanted to. As I danced with my friends, the energy around me was buzzing, and as I was more sensitive to energy than others, I would sometimes feel as if I was on a high. I thought it was just the atmosphere, and my endorphins were giving me that rush. I had no idea that it was the drugs and alcohol in the air—and in many of those around me—that I was sensing so strongly. People who have strong psychic abilities are always more sensitive to their environments than are others. * * * The strange thing was that I actually did meet my first true love at one of these sleazy bars. He was definitely one of the exceptions. Michael was standing with some male friends at the bar ordering some drinks. He was tall and handsome. He kept looking over at me and I confidently approached him. This was certainly out of character for me. Not my usual way of meeting a man, but Michael was so handsome. He seemed to stand out from the rest of the crowd, and I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over the bar, and as he was talking to one of his friends, I introduced myself. Of course, I tried my best to be as casual as possible. Instead, my heart was beating rapidly, and I laughed a little too awkwardly. We ended up talking for hours in the bar. He asked me for my phone number and this time, he actually kept calling me and asking me out on dates, even after he was well aware that he was not going to get some serious action straight away. Michael would stay in my life for a long time, and I thought of him as my angel during those years. Sometimes, people come into our lives to help us become stronger and that was exactly what he did. When people ask me today about my first true love, I can honestly say that he was not a bad man. I know that I broke his heart by leaving him for a new way of life, but we had both grown so much that we needed to go our separate ways. We were there for one another during those five years and I don’t regret one minute of the time we spent together. It had been our destiny to meet, and I thank my angels for bringing him into my life at the time I needed him most. However, Michael was finding it difficult to accept my new work. He had been happy with me selling fashion and was surprised that I would even consider becoming a psychic. He had seen me read natural health books and spiritual material, but he thought it was just a hobby. Michael tried desperately to accept my new line of work, as he didn’t wish to let me go, but I could see it wasn’t easy for him. Even though I was the one who had left him, even though I was one hundred per cent certain that he was no longer for me, my heart was still breaking. I had known this beautiful soul for so many years and to suddenly have to leave him, because my intuition was telling me to, was so painful. Before I broke it off, I had been through a period of complete denial. I recall him coming around to visit me at home. My mother answered the door. I couldn’t make myself come down the stairs of our two-story home. It felt like I was being forced against my will. I finally made my way down to greet him, and even had to force a smile. We went to the movies that night. That would be our very last night out together. I still didn’t have the ability to tell him the truth and I was scared that just maybe I would be making the biggest mistake of my life if I said a final goodbye. The angel cards that kept falling out of my deck whenever I desperately needed some guidance, all pointed towards me moving forward and breaking free. I still didn’t fully trust the cards, as I hadn’t had much experience using them at that point in my life. Yet every single time I sat down to see what answer cards came through for me, they were always the same cards about breaking free from someone. My intuition was strongly guiding me away from this man, but as I had adored him for such a long part of my life, I couldn’t get my head around the idea of leaving him for good. Since I didn’t wish to listen to my intuition, my body began trying to give me the message. I began experiencing incredibly sharp abdominal pains. I was even rushed to hospital while sleeping over at Michael’s place. The pains in my stomach were horrific that night and the doctor who examined me explained to me that I had a severe case of chronic irritable bowel syndrome. This whole scenario with Michael was placing enormous pressure on me, and as I hadn’t had the courage to leave him, my body was now paying the price.