I Made It This Far
The First Half of My Life
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As a child, I often played outside, had my own bed to sleep in, went to church, regularly had sibling fights, and experience my mom hitting me a lot. As a child I thought that was normal; now looking back, it was very dysfunctional and abusive. My father smacked me once on my hand, because my brother and I were playing with matches. I felt that it was okay for my father to punish me for what I had done. But that was the first and last time he ever punished me. My mother, on the other hand, as far as punishment went, was a whole different story. She would hit me everyday, even when I had done nothing to deserve it, she would still hit me. After a while, I just stopped feeling love for my mother, because of the lack of respect she had towards me. I look at many of my childhood pictures and in a lot of them I am not smiling. In the majority of them I was crying. Whenever she was having one of her moments, she would hit me. It was with either a wooden spoon or a leather belt. She stopped using wooden spoons on me because they would break, so she decided to use the leather belt instead. The only time she would not hit me is when her mother Marianne would spend the winters with us. She would not dare to hit me in front of her mother. At that time I felt safe and always enjoyed having my Me-mere Marianne stay with us for six months when she came down from New Brunswick to visit. But once my grandmother left, returning to her home, that was when my mother began hitting me again and again. As a child and even today as an adult I ask myself “What have I ever done to you to get hit everyday?” She still has her moments today but her way to get to me, is to criticize how I raise my daughters, or how I look, or how it such a sin to have such a beautiful life.
How do I handle it? Well some days, I say” Whatever Maman?” or I just bless her and let her go. It is her issue and she needs to work on herself and realize that she is only responsible for herself. But in this lifetime, she is so angry and destructive in her life,
that I don’t think she really cares who she hurts or uses. This is how it is; and now it revolves around how much money she can get from my father in the divorce settlement, because she is on a mission and has turned all of us against each other. Right now, I am only concerned about my father’s health, and how he never in his wildest dreams thought that he would be going through a divorce, after being married for 48 years. I can see that my mother is mentally and verbally abusive to my father for which she will pay later in life for her disrespect. I don’t think we are ever going to be close as a family. My mother has been very destructive with her children and now her grand children.
The angels have been speaking to me for a very long time to write a book and share my life stories, to help others in this world, and help them to move forward and empower themselves
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About the Book
I Made It This Far is about a woman who went through so much disrespect, abuse, and hard times in her life. Angelique E. Constance wanted to share her own horrors and the triumphs, as there are a lot of other women who are going through it or have encountered the same childhood experience as she has. I wanted to share that even though it took me a while to empower myself to the point that I could finally take control of my life, once I did, it was the best feeling ever. My story will show people how they can get out of that vicious cycle and make themselves feel valued, not only by themselves but by the people that we value. We may feel that there are no way out of those life experiences. If I can grow spiritually and heal within, you too can do the same. You will find the person who you want to be. You can have the life you have always wanted for yourself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We just need to take that first step and be accountable to ourselves. It can be disheartening at times, but with faith, hard work, self-reflection, and the belief that you can heal within, everything is possible. You need to decide to let go and let God take care of you, while you take the necessary steps for the betterment of the life you so richly deserve. Believe within always.
About the Author
I have through my 50 years of life, experienced things that some people will have experienced and some have not. I have decided to journal them for my own therapy. During my journaling, some of my girlfriends learned of my desire to heal and inspired me to really look at making my entries into a book. I have been involved in many stay at home business ventures, taken many business courses and even completed a life coaching and health coaching studies course. Through my angel reader, who really inspired me to look at writing a book, got in touch with my ability to be a medium. All of my life experiences, teachings, coaching, has blessed me with the ability to be whole with myself and write about my life experiences. Its raw, unabridged and goes right to the heart of my life. Through those experiences and how I have learned to grow and become a much better person, I wish to inspire other individuals who are experiencing any issues in their life. I wish to show them that there are people out there who will stand beside them in whatever decision they will make, but that there are others who will not. Even the closest people to you may not see the value of what your doing, but in the end you are finally taking the bull by the horn, reclaiming your life and doing something that is in the best interests of you. Not anyone else. I wish to inspire women to take that step – May it be to get out of an abusive life experience or taking charge of their health, mental well being, physical appearance, emotional well being or finding your spirituality. We have a tendency of just functioning and forgetting ourselves with life, in all areas of life really. I have been there, done that and go the t-Shirt. Its time for me, to inspire other women, to get their own T-Shirt and help empower themselves as an amazing valuable person. I have been a competitive bodybuilder and fitness competitor for the last 30 years. Through those 30 years, I have learned discipline, a hard work ethic, compassion, the ability to be humble when you have success, and how to be even more humble in defeat. I have the ability to relate with people on a very individual and personal level. I can give people a very neutral, yet positive conversation that leaves them thinking about what is in the best interests of them. It always about the other person. That is why I decided to put myself out there so I could be a guiding light. If I can do that for just 1 person, then my book is a success. I hope you will join me in my story and as you read it, can relate in some way to your own life and how I found my way through it to become the person that I am today.
That moves from qualification about to something more personal?
I have been emotionally, mentally, physically abused most of my life and it can be very lonely on this earth, wondering if I am really the only one experiencing this. I felt that at time maybe I deserved all this abuse and bullying because that of what I would hear from everyone that I was surrounded with-Grandparents, aunts, uncles, school mates, teachers and parents. I always looked beyond all of the abuse I was living with. I always knew deep within myself that what those family members or people were saying to me, were not nice and untrue. I kept my faith and always believed that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that is beautiful and loving. Through all those dark times, I somehow always found a ray of light, albeit small sometimes but it was that light that guided me down the right path and to writing this book. I have a lot of life experience, life coaching, mentoring, am a wife, mother and grandmother. I am a survivor. I am a medium. I am a giver. Hopefully my story will empower people to do a self check of their life. To see what is really good, and to see what they just tolerate. Do you want to tolerate or do you want to live. My book shows you ways to go from tolerating to living. And living for you. If you can’t be happy with yourself, how do you think you can be happy with others, for others?
I am currently living in Calgary, Alberta, married to a wonderful man, have 4 daughters , three moved out and one still at home. I’ve been blessed with 4 grandchildren. My life has been interesting, but I am always working toward my life mission, my passion, my dreams and goals. I am looking forward working with women who are ready to take charge of their life. I want to help them be their own voice, to inspire them, to coach them on how valuable they are here on this Earth. I want to coach women to take steps in there life for the betterment of their life goals and dreams. Life can be short, but if you take the steps to heal within and value yourself, you have so much to give, to help inspire others who are going through the same life lessons that we are all experiencing. Opportunities are always going to present themselves in a very positive way in all aspects of life, be it financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Live a blessed long life and stop thinking “Lack Of.” Through my life’s journey, I hope you follow and understand as I gradually take control of what I wanted in my life. Follow me through a lousy divorce; to my unforgettable trip to Sedona where I truly learned the meaning of self healing, self help. To see me meet my soul mate and his unwavering support for me, and writing my book. I hope that when you pick this up and start to read it that you feel the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations. The emotional rollercoaster that we all seem to be on. But through it all, I truly believe that you will also see the ways to help, to heal, to become a truly wonderful person that seems to be lacking so much in today’s society. I am blessed to have Hay House behind me in publishing my story and I hope that I can reach the people that are frustrated, unhappy. I really enjoyed journaling my life’s story and the journey to put it into the words which make up this book. Enjoy and reflect.
God Bless you all and Many Blessings