More Than Mama Sees or Daddy Knows

So, what is it about me that has become “more than my mama could see or my daddy could know”? It is the reality that I am true Nsaa, an original burial cloth of mortality; authentically designed by a spiritual Creator who utilized His own concepts of Wisdom when He birthed me into being. A cloth of true beauty and strength, created from their combined DNA and life lessons shared on a daily basis to provide a covering for me—with a width and depth great enough to provide shelter from the judgmental views of others, as my person grew and molded into the plan the Master knew would become my life. John Miles and Estella were serious weavers—carefully intertwining my youthful threads with constant examples of Wisdom, faith, and trust in the Almighty. As time passed, these threads expanded to become a runner that expressed a knowing awareness about their words of faith after much uncertainty about life and my direction. Their deaths forced a new beginning into a journey deep within; one that inspired me to become a spiritual seeker of my identity and purpose in the Creator’s plan. Finally, my runner became interlaced with joyous threads of biblical knowledge, spiritual fellowship, love, and service to and from others. I now emerge as a glorious quilted tapestry of life. A dynamic being that bears witness to a relationship with a loving Creator that runs deeper than anything I have ever imagined possible. Symbolic patches bearing images of Wisdom, love, and service now intertwine with joyful threads of faith to create my own personal insignia, an insignia that boldly proclaims me the priceless translucent ruby whose monetary worth is far beyond mere dollars and cents.

As an artist who works through the perspective of symbolism, I know that my creations must begin with a well thought-through foundation. Doing so keeps focus intact and gives purpose and clarity to the work. Within art based on symbolism, the foundation is essential to provide strong support and balance to the overall meaning and message of the piece. Such infrastructure also allows the addition of newer thoughts, ideas and concepts that will supply greater depth in understanding and enjoyment of the work. These same principles are true when working in the realm of the spiritual. A life established with spiritual principles ensures one being prepared, happy, balanced and supported for growth under all circumstances.

The symbolism in this bowl/story represents people and concepts that laid the foundation for my present life. Colors harmoniously balance with other symbolic aspects for reasons that far exceed aesthetics. Physical beauty is a priority within all designs, however the real attraction occurs within the message each imparts. Within this particular bowl design, all aspects serve to illustrate my appreciation for my solid foundation of Wisdom and all those who helped me receive its priceless presence into my life.

At first glance, you might think that the basic color underlying this creative design is solely brown- but that is not true. Enlarging the background allows you to see that there are actually two colors, which share credit for who I have become. Understanding the symbolic qualities of both colors allows focused appreciation for situations that offered guidance and sowed character in my young life.

Symbolic black begins the actual groundwork for our bowl due to the intricate nature of its specific characteristics. Now you may think I am referring to the death of John Miles and Estella, and the years I felt totally lost and disconnected from the people in my life, and the fears that I would never again be happy. This is partially right. However, my affinity with black also carries a concealed relationship to Wisdom and all characters- real and symbolic- portrayed throughout this story.

Many view black from a perspective of evil and negativity. Situations involving death, sadness, fear or anxiety tend to foster this thought. Nevertheless, when seen from its symbolic perspective, black is similar to the number Two. It is neither good nor bad; context makes all the difference. Within my work, black represents the complete opposite of most people’s opinion. Rather than sadness and death, black reflects the celebration of life and all its unique new beginnings. It is about the next thing coming your way, which, if embraced, has the potential to take you down a completely new path for growth and success. However, since you have no idea what that will be, nor when it will occur- black still holds true to its portrayal as the unknown.

Now, the unknown and I have shared an intimate relationship for quite a long while. Beginning with the deaths of John Miles and Estella, many things became exactly that- unknown. Life appeared as one uncertainty after the next. Often the unknown had me feeling as if I were a ball that it was bouncing all over the place! It kept me in constant motion and completely off balanced. Frequently I felt as if nothing was within my control. During the 4 years following Estella’s death, both my body and mind began growing and expanding in ways that made my siblings most uncomfortable, and caused me no end of annoyance. Sisters nervously watched and whispered among themselves about my developing body and scantily clad apparel; their concerns about my promiscuity and the possibility of my becoming pregnant and a burden to their already expanding families. My expanding mind caused immense conflict between my brother and me as I constantly challenged and tested him; “mouthing off” about decisions for my safety that he tried to enforce. From age 14 to 18, I lived with and moved from sister, to sister, to brother, to sister and finally to home on a little farm in the small country town of Culleoka, Tennessee. Here I found a true friend in a brother-in-law who became my strongest ally. He believed in my potential for greatness and eventually convinced my sisters that there was much more to me than their negativity could see.

By age 18, circumstances began to settle down around me and I gradually began exchanging the unknown for remembered Wisdom spoken forth by John Miles and Estella. Timeless Wisdom- such as the Almighty knew me, loved me, and always would provide for me. As my life continued forward, I began applying this Wisdom to all types of emerging challenges and found tremendous success. Personal experiences with the Creator’s faithfulness began to take place and a confidence began to build within me that rivaled that of John Miles and Estella. An invisible highway of faith began to form, taking me to wonderful places and happenings I previously only had imagined.

Now having a clearer understanding of the bigger picture, I realize the deaths of John Miles and Estella were the start to my new beginning for spiritual alignment with the plan of my Creator. Their absence began my journey towards a Divine Presence who already knew me and was holding all the answers to various situations awaiting my future. Since those days, I have experienced numerous negative encounters that have resulted in positive outcomes. Personal challenges of triumph now replace much of my companionship with the unknown, making it easier to “lean on and rest in the everlasting arms”. At last, I am beginning to mature into my spiritual identity- an identity that originated with the life of John Miles and Estella.