Ascension Battlefield

In the stillness of meditation I see the light of the Soul burning bright, nestled deep within. Shining through me, around me. At times, my subconscious gives me an image. The center of this light will appear to me like a thousand-petaled lotus, opening each petal like arms opened wide revealing a deeper glowing light. Going deeper and deeper, I immerse myself, not remembering where I begin and where I end. A timeless divine space. Light. Floating. Sinking deeper. Rising higher. Light. I’ve always known this light within is present. Although it wasn’t always seen when it was covered by the stresses of life. Sometimes it felt as if it was lost to me.Though I lived with a knowing that it was never gone. My earliest memory of the light within was before I had any thought about it. I remember the feeling. I was not yet three years old. Still in a cot. Wearing a diaper. In a pitch-black room. My mother had closed the door behind her and walked down the hallway. I listened to her footsteps. Perhaps I had been aware of the light since before birth. I don't remember, but I do remember the feeling of separation from my mother and an immediate connection to the feeling of being in a body and what it felt like to be One with the light. Immersed. An awareness of being safe filled me, there was no separation. An awareness of a blissful peace without a thought about it. Simply knowing I was. Simply knowing I existed. Before I could deny the existence of this light my body recognized its Truth and translated it into feeling. A child of not yet three years old will not deny, will not dismiss, will not shy away from that which feels good. And so the presence of this light within remained a consistent presence as the overhead lights were switched off and I snuggled under my blankets. It stayed with me throughout my childhood until my early adult years. Then slowly I began losing sight. Slowly, the business of life and the pressures and stresses of being an adult got in the way, and even though I was trying with a deliberate intent to sit in meditation and focus with no thought, immersion just got harder and harder. I had been able to sit with no thought when my Guru encouraged me (and many around me also shared this divine connection), but gradually, my thoughts felt more and more unwanted, intrusive, distracting. Life got in the way. It was no longer easy to see the light within. The blessing that sustained me was the knowing, the remembering, the feeling. This was enough to keep hope and faith in my heart. And now it is with appreciation I have returned to it being easy to be without interruption of thought and immerse myself in the bliss, the presence of the light of creation holding me in deep love. The jewel, my Soul within the thousand-petaled lotus, an image my subconscious recently began giving me, singing a harmonious tune of peace and love. Loud and clear. An unmistakable feeling of ancient memory with no thought in my head. A pure remembering with the support of my subconscious world giving me an occasional image. It is this supportive role of thoughts and imagery which has a very valuable place. A welcoming place. Thoughts and images, when molded, deliberately become tools which pave the path and shine the way. They become the bricks and mortar cleverly and supportively grounding you into an internal experience of deliberate choice. A creative expression building a world around the light within. A world which—for me—now powerfully supports peace and love in my heart and is reflected back to me in my day-to-day reality. I now choose the thoughts I follow very carefully, and it has become easy to do. It’s become exciting and fun—all thoughts leading to peace and love in my heart. It is rare now to find myself wandering down the path of thoughts which lead me away from the peace and the love of the light within, but it is on those rare occasions that I discover a new exciting way to make my way back home to the light. To the feeling of eternal, timeless peace and love.