Chapter Seven
Denial Is Not Our Friend
We can neither control nor transcend what we deny.
Self-Acceptance, A Key to Our Wholeness
Self-acceptance is the ability to lovingly receive and be all that we are with grace. All that we are, is the sum total of all the gifts given to us by our Creator, Mother/Father God. It is the expression of our physical selves, the light of our spirits, the love of our souls, the sweetness of our hearts expressing on Earth as the individuals we know as ourselves.
As sound as it may seem or as easy as it may sound, living and loving ourselves with complete acceptance is rare. The moment we begin finding fault with our bodies, holding back our true feelings, disguising our true natures, we have lost the alignment of self-acceptance. With this lost alignment, we grow to become something we are not. A string of events occur that will continue to take us further from our destiny and our true selves unless the events are seen for the opportunities for growth that they really are. Most people see it as bad luck when it is an opportunity to regain our lost alignment.
Integrity is the state of being whole and undivided. Where there is a lack of acceptance for the self, there is a lack of the integrity within the true self. We cannot be whole when we love, care for, or nurture only parts of ourselves. A lack of acceptance creates a weakening in the energy field. The three heavy weights, denial, judgment, and guilt, along with a big dose of fear will penetrate the weak spots and begin the process of weighing heavy upon the body, mind, spirit, and soul. This begins to fragment the true self. The God-given internal guidance system becomes dysfunctional along with our emotional expression. Our life experiences become heavy, making us feel every bit the slave or prisoner to the demands of the invisible forces of denial, judgment, and guilt.
Similar to any addiction, this usually happens in small increments. Little by little, relatively unnoticed, we lose more of our true selves as we find fault with who we are. The thought of not being enough begins to scrape away at the integrity of our very wholeness. We create or adopt a persona that we believe to be better than our true selves and may make us feel safe. We choose to believe in the illusion, hoping to find acceptance from the world. This cannot happen when self-acceptance is lacking. A vibrational match for a lack of acceptance is what will present itself sooner or later.
There is often a quiet hope that being something other than who we are will get us something. Anything achieved in this way cannot last because the foundation is based on a false representation of the self. Beyond the veil of forgetfulness, we grow unaware of the fact that we are not who we really are. However, in these fast-paced, changing times, the true self begins to stretch, nudge, and grow impatient. Many people are feeling it and hearing the call. Questions arise that inspire many people to look for answers. Questions like: “Who am I really? What am I doing with my life? Why am I so unhappy?” Look within. The answers are waiting for us there. Statements such as, “I know I am so much more. I can do better than this” begin to surface. As uncomfortable as it may be, it is a good sign. It is the awakening. Are you feeling the wake up call to remember who you are?
Do not fade away, becoming more of something you are not. Begin the art of loving yourself just as you are today and let that love grow. You will discover you have always been enough; you are wonderful and beautifully unique. You are a divine child of a most loving creator. You are experiencing spiritual awakening, spiritual awareness, and transformation on every level.
I speak of acceptance frequently throughout this book because self-acceptance is key to positive change and growth. Your life expression thus far may find you not liking what you see in yourself. That is really quite all right. Just do not let it stop you from accepting it. You can accept what is without liking it. Remember: acceptance of the self as you are right now is the key to positive change. Allow self-acceptance to become your ally and assist you on your journey home to the heart of all you are. With that said let’s look at what is not your friend.
Denial Is Not Our Friend
Denial gains a foothold through our inability to accept our experiences and ourselves. The denied aspects of the self are hidden from our current state of consciousness. These denied parts of the self are in the dark and constitute much of what is commonly called shadows or inner demons. All aspects of the self that are hidden in the dark are outside the light of God’s love, which provides nourishment in the form of understanding, awareness, hope, joy, peace, and inner strength. The lack of light causes us to be blind and unaware of what messages we are vibrating out into the world and disconnect us from the understandings that could free us from unhealthy patterns. Where there is emotional blockage, there is denial and old judgments widening the gap between Source and ourselves. The gap sets us apart from our authentic selves and from each other, losing the sense of unity and oneness.
When we tell ourselves something is not happening when it is, or something is happening when it is not, we do not have acceptance for what is happening. When we cannot accept what is happening, we were not ready for the experience in whole or in part and are overwhelmed. The experience is denied and sometimes forgotten. Judgments are then created to provide a false sense of control and knowledge.